Red Assassin: Infinity War

two ~ earth is closed

I can hear screams coming from outside. "W-we have to help!" I shout.

I clamber to my feet and run out the door. Everybody's in a panic, running from something I can't see. Tony pulls out his glasses. "Friday, what am I looking at?" he asks.

"Not sure. I'm working on it," Friday answers.

"You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc!" Tony shouts.

"Might wanna use it!" Strange responds, glowing orange mandalas appearing around his wrists.

I follow Tony around the corner, and floating in the sky is a giant spaceship, resembling a donut. "What the hell is that?" I breathe.

"Friday, evac anyone south of 43rd Street! Notify first responders!" Tony orders. "Kat, you sweep the area, make sure everybody gets out!"

"Can I—"

"Yes, you can pull grand theft auto!"

"Yes!" I run across a red Mustang sports car and slide in through the open window. The keys are in the cup holder, so I say a silent thank you to the idiot who owns the car, stick the key in the ignition, and speed off on my perimeter sweep. Despite only giving sweeping glances, I don't notice anyone who hasn't gotten the evac order, so I rejoin Tony. "All clear, far as I could tell." A blue beam comes from the bottom of the space donut and two aliens appear in the street in front of us, one the size of the Hulk and a scrawny one about a third of the other's size.

"Hear me and rejoice," proclaims the smaller alien. "You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos. Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing—"

"I'm sorry, Earth is closed today," Tony shouts. "You better pack it up and get out of here."

"Stonekeeper," the alien says. "Does this chattering animal speak for you?"

Chattering animal. I like that.

"Certainly not. I speak for myself." Strange steps forward, orange mandalas appearing in front of his fists. "You're trespassing in this city and on this planet."

"He means get lost, Squidward," Tony barks.

"He exhausts me," the alien says.

"You and me both, pal," I shout back. As soon as the words leave my lips, I wish I had any of my tools with me.

"Bring me the stone," the alien orders.

"Kat, Banner, you want a piece?" Tony asks.

"Mm, no, not really," Bruce says. "But when do I ever get what I want?"

"Yeah, me too. He seems to have forgotten that I have none of my guns, bombs, tools, anything," I add.

"It's been a while. Good to have you, buddy," Tony says.

"Okay, shh," Bruce says, straining his muscles. "Let me just...I need to concentrate here for a second. Come on, come on, man."

The big alien is getting closer. "Where's your guy?" Tony asks.

"I don't know. We've sorta been having a thing," Bruce replies.

"There's no time for a thing. That's the thing right there. Let's go," Tony says. Bruce groans, looking constipated. "Dude, you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards."

"I'm sorry! Either I can't or he won't!" Bruce says.

"I got him. You guys go," I say as Tony's suit appears over his body and he blasts the giant alien.