Deal with the devil

      I sat up in bed in one sharp and steady movement. My breathing was heavy, labored, one might even describe it as panting. My throat was faintly swollen giving me the slightest difficulty breathing and my eyes pooled with fear. A thin layer of cold sweat covered my body, the cold air from the open window, sending a shiver up my spine making me colder. My mind was a treacherous monster that gave me no escape, the images of her cold body, embellished with wine red splatters of blood laying in the quartz white snow. It haunted me. Every night. Every time I shut my eyes, even for just a split second. Stalking me during the daytime, ready to pounce once the moon overtook the horizon. I gently touched my face, the wet, salty tears staining my flushed cheeks. My throat felt raw from screaming. Music to the devils ears. Every night I saw her pleading eyes reaching out to me, asking for a savior. Gentle whimpers of pain leaving her delicate blood covered lips as she choked on her own blood, the ruby liquid staining her pale face. I longed to help her, to make her better, to tell her everything would be fine, to give her hope, reassurance, even if it was more so for myself, I wanted to give her anything that would make the pain of the world disappear.
      I quickly shut my eyes not wanting to relieve the nightmare imprinted in my brain yet again. Hope was worse than fear. If I learned anything from my darling mother it would be that. False hope will ruin you more than true fear. Hope was another monster reaching out, offering the good, only for it to be poisonous once you get a taste of it. The  cold air blew through the window creating a howling sound pulling me out of my thoughts,  goosebumps rising on my arms, my satin nightgown not doing much to protect me from the cold.
As more chills made their way through my body, I made a quick motion to move to the edge of my bed, feet on the cold wood of my floorboards. I stayed like that for a moment, letting myself enjoy the cool oak under my feet. Deciding I would much rather not follow my family's unfortunate and dark faith of dying from sickness, I quickly  slid my feet into the warm fuzzy slippers waiting at my bedside.
The moon light created a dark, mysterious, almost creepy atmosphere in my chambers, letting me catch a glimpse of the time of my unfortunate awakening. The big, ebony wooden clock, intimidating me with its tall figure, delicate carvings of the egyptian sphinx and other traditional symbols covering the surface of the smooth timber. Looking at the golden hands of the clock I read the time. Three- o -two am. Sighing, I reached for my robe, fond of how the cotton felt against my cold skin, pleasantly distracting me from my dark thoughts for a short moment. Only for a moment. I moved to close the window, the harsh winter air prickling at my face.
I stood looking outside at the usually green garden, bursting with color and life filled with happy memories of my childhood. My mother, father, sister, and I, indulging in daily games of tag or hide n seek to pass the boring days of country life. Sure, my father worked, but he always found time to be with his loving daughters, making sure they don't die of boredom. My mother was a traditional stay at home mom, although she didn't mind. She loved every moment of it, spending every second with Connor and I. Homeschooling and entertaining us with her bubbly personality and the most incredible mind of all. I truly did miss her warm embrace and comforting words. My sisters stupidly happy grin whenever she won a game or accomplished even the smallest of things. My fathers encouraging words to never let life ruin your dreams and passions, to always pursue what makes you happy. Even if it went against all society's rules.
      I stared at the now snow covered garden, filled with more happy memories of family time. I always adored winter, it was my favorite season, after all. Something about it is so peaceful. I've never been sure exactly what but maybe it's the gentle snowflakes mesmerizing with their unique beauty. Or perhaps it's sitting next to the fireplace snuggled in a bunch of blankets, reading an amazing novel, with a cup of herbal tea in hand. I still couldn't quite decide what I loved about winter.  It was another mystery for another time, though I'm not sure It's one in need of solving. I believe you don't have to love something because of one aspect, there can be many things to adore about a season, or person, or anything else you might think of. Spending time with my family during the winter was frankly the best time of year. Building snowmans, and although father didn't always approve, quite violent snowball fights with the people I adored the most in life.Christmas, sharing presents and seeing grins on the faces of the people most important to me.