Lost in the Darkness // Billie Eilish

Part VI

Emma follows hesitantly behind me as I walk up the steps of the tour bus.

"Hi, Earl," I gave the driver a quick wave and continued forward to find one of my suitcases.

After unzipping and scrummaging through it for a few minutes, I realize Emma has been strangely quiet. The thought of this makes me look back. To my surprise, she's still at the front of the bus, making conversation with Earl.

She's smiling and laughing a little. It seems like he's telling her one of his famous, too-good-to-be-true stories.

When they're done, she walks down the aisle and meets me where I'm sitting.

"You're friendly, I like that."

"Oh, then you must not know me as well as I thought." She laughs softly, beginning to take a seat across from me, my suitcase separating us.

I stop repacking my suitcase. "What does that mean?"

"In Czechia it's expected to be polite, greet and minimally chat with new people. And truthfully, Earl reminds me of my father a bit, so I don't mind talking to him."

"Did he tell you one of his outrageous stories?"

"Yes he did."

"Do you believe it?"

"Of course not. It's clearly fake but that's not the point."

"You're hilarious," I shake my head and chuckle, looking down to zip my suitcase back up. "You know that?"

"I've been told." She pulls her knees up to her chest and watches as I store away my items. "You're quite the charmer yourself. Shy, but still charming."

I snap my head in her direction, appalled. "Shy?!"

She nods.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me."

"What? You're shy, there's noth- there isn't a lot wrong with that."

"No one has ever said that to me before, I'm so offended."

She shrugs, "from the moment I met you, all I've seen is timidity."

"Yeah, well, that's different. But I'm not a shy person." I mumble.

"If you are not shy, then I am not cold."

I frown, "you're not cold, you're just, uh, straightforward. I don't know about you but that shit's attractive."

"All Czechs are straightforward, I am just particularly cold. Polite, but cold."

"I dunno dude, I think you're pretty alright."

She raises her eyebrows, "alright? I don't think a woman who stares at me so often believes I am just alright."

I desperately wanted to tell her that I thinks she's singlehandedly one of the best I've ever had to pleasure of meeting and just thinking of her gives me butterflies, but I'm not sure how she'd react to such a confession.

"You're great. Amazing even."

"I'll take it."

"And very pretty."

"That sounds more like it," she grins, her comment immediately clouding my cheeks with a pink hue.

I change the subject quickly, "what time is it?"

She checks her watch, "1:34."

"We gotta start heading to sound check," I murmur more so to myself than Emma.

I quickly find and pull out a white binder from bunk, skimming for a specific laminated page.

Emma peers over my shoulder, her presence is brutally close as she tries to examine the binder.
"What's this?"

"Predetermined tour looks." I tell her

When I finally get to the page I want, she laughs a little.

"Prog?"

I hurriedly cover the atrocious spelling with my hands. "I was homeschooled, you know that. Leave me alone," I pout. "C'mon, we really gotta go."

I check once more to see if my outfit correctly correlates to the one on the binder before excusing myself to the bathroom.

Once I'm changed we head to sound check, an event I would usually dread and oftentimes found quite boring.

Today was different

When we got there, I introduced her to some of the staff and they all adored her (of course).

I'm playing a smaller show tonight, so sound check was a little more intimate then normal.

I sat on the edge of the stage, feet dangling off of it, while Emma's pulled up a foldable chair where the pit would be.

Mic to my lips, I sang through my setlist, eyes hopelessly locked with hers nearly the entire time.

God, I'm so whipped and it's painfully obvious.

"Billie!"

"Hm?" I hum half-heartedly, not daring to look away from the alluring woman in front of me.

"Let's wrap it up, we're done here." One of the staff members makes a swirling motion with his finger.

I recompose myself and realize goodbye is playing in the background and I had been subconsciously mumbling the lyrics into the mic while staring at her, although I'm not really supposed to sing along.

Embarrassed, I look over at Emma again.

Her legs are crossed and a gentle smirk is plastered on her lips, her head tilted just a bit.

She gives me a final look and laughs softly to herself before standing up and walking away.

"Where're you going?"

"Bathroom,"