AN IDLE HEART ♱ Ron Weasley.

𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲. it starts with a loss

♫     fourth of july
— sulfjan stevens     ♫

The world had been unkind to Astrid Black for a long time. It had barreled its rotten teeth in her pale flesh, chewed her up and spit her out again, when she was still a baby, cotted in her mother's arms, ripped her to shreds when all Astrid begged was to be loved until all that was left of her was a shell of a young woman and a box of the remainings of a young child in delirium, stashed away from every prying eye.

That very night of Halloween in 1981, the young child that was once Astrid had been pried away from the love of her mother. Astrid didn't remember it but Remus Lupin certainly did: Elodie Sterling's dainty arms, now ghostly pale and scarred, wrapped around her daughter, as her eyes, drained from every life they had ever held within, starred up at him, mouth agape as though she was saying something, voice shrill and loud — a stark contrast to her always so warm tone, Help me, Remus! Help her! Take her! Take Astrid and help her!

Remus, pained and in tears, had to press his hands to his ears as though that could still the tumult in him but, if anything, Elodie's voice only seemed to get louder, more piercing, the more he tried to drown it out.

Remus peered down at the small child in Elodie's arms, wailing loudly. Small cuts littered Astrid's skin from her wrist up to her shoulder and Remus — and he would know it best — knew these scars would once be a bitter reminder for the things that happened to her.

Heavy footsteps approached the nursery and Remus felt every muscle in his body tense. He turned around, wand raised. He watched with his heart beating in his chest heavily as a shadow approached the doors, the floors creaking under the weight of the person. Remus was ready to die, to finally be with his friends again, to have Astrid be safe, the stunning curse already on his lips and— "Severus?"

"Lupin", the man, ever so compassionate, seemed almost grief-stricken, as he staggered through the door, eyes fixated on the woman on the floor, "Oh Elodie!"

And then, with a swift swing of his cloak, "Was it him? Was it him, Lupin? Was he here?", Severus urged, eyes wide open and for a moment Remus wondered, if he had gone out of his mind.

Remus nodded hastily, a sob, muffled by his hand over his mouth, escaping his lips. "He killed her! Left Astrid to watch her mother die!", he sputtered, struggling for air. He found it hard to breath, grief like a noose around his neck, threatening to choke him. He brought his hands to his neck as though he wanted to rip it away — He pulled at the collar of his sweater, scratched at the skin of his neck but nothing helped.

"Get yourself together, Lupin!", Snape spat, pacing from one wall to another, only briefly looking over to Remus, "I knew that he was the traitor — I knew what he was capable of!"

"Severus—", Remus coughed out, taking a step forward. He didn't know what to say. The words in his mind scrambled together, there were so many questions, so many things he wanted to scream and cry, but, still, nothing came out.

Severus wasn't listening anyway. He paced the floor, getting more and more agitated by the second, mumbling the same words over and over again, He promised.

"Severus", Remus tried again, his voice now more determined, although still shaking, "Stop this madness for a moment — We need to talk about Astrid."

The child had gone quiet in the arms of her dead mother and if Remus had thought that her seemingly endless wailing had hurt his heart, the blank, innocent stare on her face now was ripping it out. She babbled on, poking at her mother's arms as though the woman hadn't been drained from anything that had made her her just mere minutes ago and that was enough for Remus to let out another gut wrenching sob, going down on his knee in front of the two bodies on the floor.