Meretricious | Professor Lupin

65. I need you

Spencer nodded as she went to go get it.

In all honestly he wanted her to leave, but he just missed smelling her.

After giving him the vial she applied some cream softly, making sure not to rub too hard.

Once she finished she sat back down on the chair.

Silence the only thing heard.

"I don't want to break up with you" he said out of nowhere.

"We don't need to do this now" she stood up, walking to the sink and cleaning the cloth.

"Can you look at me please? I can't- if I stand it'll hurt" he asked.

Spencer sighed before turning around.

"I'm angry Spencer" he spoke. "You won't believe how angry I am. At myself. At her" he shook his head. "I'm so fucking angry."

"And you don't deserve that. Me avoiding you. I don't know why I've been doing it. I do but it's just- it's complicated" he looked down.

"Because I love it when you call me Professor in that tone of yours but then it makes me feel-"

"Remus I know" she walked to her chair. "I just- we were fine. We were fine before her and now... we're not" she sighed. "I didn't want her to come between us Remus, but she did" she shrugged.

"I don't want you to be angry at yourself you didn't do anything" she shook her head. "I just... I need my boyfriend back" she whispered. "And if you want me to stop calling you that then I will."

Remus, although in pain, pulled her chair with his foot and kissed her.

"Kill me if I ever say I want you to stop calling me that" he said into her mouth.

"I just miss coming home and finding you on the couch reading or grading something on the table. I miss being able to talk to you or tell you about my dreams" she chuckled. "I miss you" she wiped her tear. "I miss us."

He held her face with his hands as she held his wrists.

"I'm still here" he said, his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry my love" he nodded.

Spencer shook her head. "I get it Remus, I'm sorry" she replied. "I just don't want anything to change... we're special" she added with her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry it did change, I didn't mean for it to" he said. "But I swear Spencer I don't want to leave you... I need you" he kissed her again.

"Ok ok" she smiled. "We have to stop you're hurt" she shook her head, pulling back.

"Not hurt enough" he shook his head, kissing her again.

"Remus" she chuckled.

"Fine fine" he smiled, pulling back. "How about you tell me about what happened at the ministry" he asked.

Spencer looked around the room, finally back at him.

"I hated it" she breathed out.

Remus nodded sadly.

"That bad?"

"Yeah" she nodded. "Kingsley warned me that it could get out and asked me if I wanted to continue."

"I panicked about it because... well everyone would know," she rolled her eyes, "not just you guys but everyone" she nodded again.

"I'd have to- I don't know what I'd say to them" she shrugged. "To Arthur or Harry... or anyone" she shook her head.