Bliss in all its Purity

ELEVEN

By six o'clock in the morning, we had arrived in West Virginia - and I was declared missing.

    "Wow, that was fast," said James as we listened to the report on the radio.

    "Robert Williams has reported his daughter, Birdie Marie Williams, missing," said a husky voice. "She was nowhere to be found in her home town this morning. She has bright red hair, green eyes, and freckles. Birdie is five foot seven, and fourteen years old. When she was last seen by her father she was wearing a purple t-shirt, grey pants, and sneakers."

    I looked down. I had changed into a blue Pink Floyd shirt before I left. Good thing.

     "The current reward for finding her is two thousand dollars. Please, be on the lookout."

    With that the channel switched over to some cheesy song, and it was over.

    James turned off the radio, and whistled. "Well, we need to disguise you. We can do better later, but for now put on this hat and sunglasses."

    He reached into the center console and pulled out a hat that said, "ONLY DEAD FISH GO WITH THE FLOW."

    He placed the hat and sunglasses in my lap. "The hat was my dad's," he explained.

    I didn't want to bring all of that up again, but I couldn't stop myself from saying, "It's weird how your dad fished and was a lawyer."

    James just laughed at this. "Weird combination, huh? He fished before he got a promotion. You know, it wasn't until after the promotion that he started actually caring about his job. That's when he stopped fishing."

    I nodded as I put the hat and sunglasses on, although it was a little creepy. Wearing a dead man's hat and all. It wasn't long that I had to wear it, though, because James pulled over at a drugstore and said, "Time to get you a real disguise. And food."

    "Do you even have enough money? Shouldn't we be saving it?" I asked.

    James shook his head and pulled out a Ziploc bag from his pocket. And inside it was hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

    "James!" I yelled. "You took the money!"

    "No, no, you got me all wrong," he said. "I never touched my friend's precious money. This is my Replacement Mom's. She only used it for shoes, anyway."

    I took a deep breath and leaned against the window. "You didn't actually take your friend's money."

    "Nope."

    "Okay," I said, calming down. "Just hurry. I'm starving."

    James soluted me, and hopped out of the car, putting on his own sunglasses. Just in case he got reported missing later, I supposed.

    After about seven minutes he came jogging back with four or five bags in his hands. We sat in the car eating granola bars, cheap cinnamon buns, and drinking Coke. After we ate, he showed me the clothes he bought me.

    "They come from a drugstore, so don't expect much," he said, and laughed as he took something out.

    It was a very long black wig with a red beret hat on top. "Are you kidding?" I asked.

    "It was either that, pink, or blue," James said, still laughing. He then took out a black and white striped shirt, a jean jacket, and some other things here and there.

    "Wow," was all I said.

    "Hey, this stuff was the best they had. You wanna get changed so we can actually go out somewhere?"