okie hii so i needed to rant real quick and me being the selfish bitch that i am, i decided to trauma dump on a bunch of strangers who r gonna read my books.
if ur not alrighty with my dumping, pls click off..im sorry for taking ur time <3
okie anyhoo..
i hate my mum sometimes. i know she wants the best for me and loves me and cares for me a lot but there has to be a better way than this to love ur children.
It just seems like she has an issue with almost everything i do. and now she wont even lemme be excited bout things that i would normally be excited bout.
now lets come to the topic that pushed my hair off my head and triggered my emotions and drove me to rant to a bunch of strangers
i have my birthday in 3 days and the moment i even mention it she just tells me to get back to studying and to focus on my studies. i asked her to lemme take online classes instead of offline ones (as there is an option given by our school) just on my birthday but she refused and said that my studies r more important.
which ofc i get that studying is important and i never refused to studying. i just DONT wanna go to the place that traumatizes me with its bullying and homophobic comments everyday, on my birthday
im sorry for that long af sentence. im kinda not able to think straight rn.
and also, none of my friends r coming to school rn so i will be all alone and that scares me.
i know these issues might sound very trivial and they probably are but these little things just scare me a lot.
and it also seems like my mum is the most pessimistic bitch ever. (even more than me)
and she finds faults in EVERYONE.
so literally every single friend i make, she refuses me to hang out with em cuz they dont get good grades or dont wear 'covered' clothes or look like a 'whore' *Sigh*
one time she even told me not to hang out with a person cuz she thought they looked gay
what a shame her daughter is into women *sarcasm*
maybe she will finally disown me and free me once she finds out.
and idek im just scared of her
of my mum, i mean
she is so loud and she just looks like she will hurt me any minute
and she has MAJOR anger issues and she always takes em out on me so thats funnnnnnn :)
okie i think this much over sharing is enough for today. im not gonna rant bout any other stuff cuz it is too personal and at the pace society is going, people now might start judging me for sharing too much or too little.. *Sigh*
not that i give a fuck bout lmao-
this book is kinda a proof i dont really give a shit what yall think bout me
except a few selected people who might read this. but knowing em, im sure they wont think bad of me just cuz i decided to rant lmao
anyhoo
once again, so sorry for dumping this here but doing this was much better than keeping it bottled up and having a panic attack late.
thanks for listening
well reading..
also btw im sorry if i sounded too harsh while writing this...im kinda in a whirlwind of emotions rn.
do remember to eat, drink water and take ur meds if there r any
okie bye <3
