Falling for the Order

The Moment

"If you're going to hurt me, just get it over with." You try to hide the tremble in your voice but it breaks through anyway. Your breath comes in uneven waves, images of what he might do to you for speaking to him the way you did flash before your eyes.

Choke you again? Hit you?

"I'll do neither."

You snatch your gaze to him. Puzzlement and concern flooding you as you realised he just read your thoughts. No way he just did that. But you didn't feel him. You usually feel him.

"It's what I'm best at," he says, a smirk crawling onto his lips. "Your skills have lessened over time."

"B-but how can I not feel you?" You question, tugging at the hem of the towel to cover more of your legs.

Kylo continues to draw toward you, his head tilting the other way. "Like I said, it's what I'm best at. You've let your guard down, which made it easier to just slip right into that mind of yours."

Some understanding fills you. You become frightened. How much has he seen?? You worry about your attempts to send messages to Takodana, or the tech knife still hidden under your mattress. You reassure yourself. If he knew those things, he would have killed you already.

You take a deep breath, looking to him. "What are you doing here?" You ask, barely a whisper.

He pauses for a moment before answering. "I saw something today." He says, deadpan.

You huff and rolls your eyes. "Oh really? How fascinating." Sarcasm dripping from your words.

He holds a gloved finger out to you. "Attitude." He takes another step, your grip on your towel growing tighter.

"I saw something today when I touched you."

You realise he's talking about back in the training room. His expression changing when he held your arm. His eyes wide, scanning your face at what he saw. What did he see? He must have been in your mind.

He was close now. The heat of him practically reaching out to you. This was so wrong.

You swallowed empty substance. You pointed your chin out, looking up at him. You won't be intimidated by him, even in this circumstance.

"And what might that be?" You question, watching as he eyes you over, burning your skin with his gaze. He smirks again, beginning to circle around you. You tense at his actions.

"I saw you," he starts, your eyes facing forward while his are on you. "I saw you driven and ardent. But what you were driven by surprised me."

A little worry rises in you. You beg for it not to be anything to do with the darkside. The darkness he desperately wants you to allow in. You can admit you've felt it before. The pull. But you're strong enough to resist.

You look to the ground, brows creased. "What was it?"

You feel him brush past your back, circling onto the left side of you. You feel him lean down closer to your ear. His word is quiet and clear.

"Desire."

You shoot your gaze up to him. Your eyes wide by his word. Desire of what?

"Dreaming, yearning, thirst." He lists as he finishes his steps in front of you.

You can't help it. A smile crawls onto your lips and you huff a short laugh, shaking your head at him.

"You're kidding right?" It really is laughable. It's bullshit. What was he playing at?

Kylo crosses his arms over his chest. "I'd felt it long ago, ever since I saw you on Jakku. Only, I didn't know that's what it was until now," the realisation of his words kicks in. You're so confused. He tilts his head again. "You may feel it in time...hell, you may even feel it now."