Lost my reputation | B.E.

Chapter 5: come take a dive

Narrator: Someone

Leaning against a pillar Y/N watches from across the big yard, up to the balcony. That exact moment sums up the entire day quite well, actually – she's been silently watching all day, stepping to the side and avoiding distracted bodies bumping into hers, as if she was invisible because ultimately, people only have eyes for the celebrity. And she can't blame them – cause fuck, what a celebrity.

She doesn't mind being in the shadows, and people not paying much mind to her – she doesn't really care about having people's eyes on her, especially if they're not the ones that truly matter.

Y/N's eyes are fixated on the blonde girl standing on the balcony, following her every move, drinking her in and watching her like a prey. She lands a distracted ear to what Billie's saying, because she knows that most of the singer's words are not entirely directed at her but more so meant for all the people that have helped her come this far with her latest project.

Today is the release day of Happier than ever, and Y/N couldn't be prouder of Billie. She's taken a day off in order to dedicate her entire day to her best friend, and if that isn't the biggest proof of the pride she's feeling, the admiration she holds in her eyes as she gazes up at her goes to show exactly just how much.

As Billie thanks the people close to her – her day-to-day, her PR, her mom - her eyes lock with Y/N's, and it's enough to make her melt and feel like the most important person in the crowd – in the end, those are the only sets of eyes that matter to Y/N.

The kiss Y/N swiftly blows at Billie doesn't go unnoticed, and blonde bites her lip in a failed attempt to suppress her smile, looking down at her shoes before carrying on with her speech. Y/N doesn't miss the quick jerk of the singer's head to cover her face with a few strands of hair – a poor attempt to hide the rosy color of her cheeks – and it fills her stomach with a warmth she's not sure she's ready to face yet.

Once she's recovered from whatever this moment is, Billie's back into the grove of her speech delivery, talking loud and excited.

A few seconds pass and the singer's lost Y/N's attention again.

It's not that Billie lacks charisma or that she's bad at speaking in public – there's a natural ease in her speech delivery and the way she carries herself so openly and effortlessly in front of a crowd that always blows Y/N's mind. But the thing is, Billie's wearing a tight corset and the way she's leaning against the railway pushes her breasts up even more, they're basically spilling out of the garment.

Y/N is a sucker for tits. It also doesn't help that her best friend's incredibly attractive – there'd be no point in trying to deny that. There's just something about the soft, blonde hair that hits a spot that Y/N never knew existed. Her best friend is still the same person, of course, but the bangs and shiny curls scratch an itch that Y/N had no idea needed to be relieved in the first place.

Is it wrong to look at her best friend that way? Sometimes, Y/N finds herself wondering. But ultimately, she comes to the conclusion that there's nothing wrong with admiring a woman's body and praising her for it. Even if it's her best friend we're talking about.

Every once in a while, whenever guilt starts to creep in in the tiniest way, she finds comfort in remembering that she's always telling her best friend how hot she thinks she is – she can't quite tell what's the fucked-up reasoning behind that, but she kind of feels like a fault confessed is half redressed.

Would she ever fuck her best friend? To be honest, if you'd ask her right now, Y/N would say yes. But maybe it's because she's had to watch Billie parading all day long in tight ass leather pants and fucking Louboutin heels.