Complicated Desire

Chapter Fifteen

"I cannot fucking believe you right now, Bianca," her mom shouted once her dad finally left for work. "That man is older than your father."

Bianca rolled her eyes as she sat on the couch, twisting the bottom of her shirt around her finger, only to unravel it again. The action repeated itself over and over again. "He looks really good for his age though, right?"

"Not really the point, Bianca," her mom shot back at her in a huff. "Trust me, I know that man is good looking. I've sneaked a peek myself, more than once, but the looks he gets from women doesn't make his age drop, and his age is about two years away from getting senior citizen discounts."

"Okay?" It's not like Bianca hadn't done the math before. She'd done it several times, actually. But oddly enough, the difference in age didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. It didn't seem to faze him, either.

It would bother others. Bianca was well aware of that. She'd noticed an older man with a much younger woman before and silently judged. It was human nature to not be so accepting about things we didn't understand. One of the big reasons the species was so fucked.

"Could you at least try to pretend you're taking this more seriously?"

"The conversation?" Bianca asked rhetorically. "I don't take it seriously, because I already judged myself for all of this the day we first met. I've already kicked myself for noticing every little thing about him. Until I saw it. Until I saw him noticing every little thing about me. We were like a magnet. There's this pull here that makes zero sense, and it doesn't have to. He's it for me, mom.

"With Jackson, I never felt like I could fully trust him with my heart and all the little things inside. I married him, but we were both always so guarded. There were so many things we never shared with each other, because that love we felt wasn't strong enough to fully open.

"With Kade, the amount he's already opened up to me... I feel that complete trust. I feel him showing me all those little things in his heart, one at a time, letting me memorize every detail. After his divorce from hell, he swore off women and relationships, and yet there's not one wall keeping me from getting close to him.

"I'm sorry I can't take this conversation seriously, mom, and I'm sorry this is going to piss off so many people, but I'm not going to give up true happiness and love just because people won't like it. I've made my pros and cons list like the good, cautious girl I've always been, and guess what? Every time I've seen him, the cons list doesn't get any bigger."

Her mom snatched her phone from a corner table and began feverishly pressing the screen.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Love," her mom said. "You said 'love'. You just said you loved him, so I'm texting that goddamn pervert, and telling him to get his ass over here." She finished pressing buttons and placed the phone back on the table. "While we wait, you can wash your bedding. That room of yours reeks like sex, and I don't that reminder hovering over me all day."

******************

It was half an hour later that the doorbell rang through the house, and Bianca rushed to get to the door before her mom, who surprisingly remained sitting by the window, making no move to get up.

When Bianca opened the door, there stood Kade, completely free of his predominantly grey beard. "What the hell happened to your face?"

Kade rubbed his forefinger and thumb against the bare skin. "Had some time to kill, so I thought I'd get a straight shave. I grew that beard after the divorce as a way to hide. Not much reason for that anymore. Plus, since most of my grays were in my beard, I'm hoping it'll make things easier on your mother."

"Fat chance of that happening," her mom called out from the living room; out of eyesight, but apparently full in earshot.

He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. "It'll be fine, mi cielo. If I can't handle this, I certainly won't be able to handle the others. Consider this our trial run."

Kade clasped their hands together, entwining their fingers, and led her into the living room, her mother's eyes already on them both, her lips pressed tightly together in a fine line.

"I am sorry about what happened this morning, Jackie. I didn't intend for you to find out that way," he told her as he sat both himself and Bianca down on the couch.

Her mom wasted no cutting to the chase. "What exactly are your feelings toward my daughter, Kade? Because she's normally quite level-headed, and has never jumped into a relationship head first and eyes closed. So, if you aren't on the same level as her-"

"I've already asked Bianca to move in with me," Kade admitted to her mom. "She turned me down, given the newness of the relationship, but that's how serious I am about her.

"I may be much older than her, but with age comes experience. I've experienced love, and I've experienced lust, so I am well aware of the difference. If I thought what I was feeling toward Bianca was nothing more than lust, I wouldn't have pursued her to begin with. There is a connection there beyond desire, and neither of us could ignore that."

"Did you try?"

"Not really," Kade relented. "Truth is, I came to accept long ago that I'd never have anything more than companionship, and even then, I wasn't so lucky. But with your daughter, I found everything, and I'm not letting you, Michael, Kara, or Matt tell me I can't have that. The only person who has the power to end this is Bianca, and even then, expect me to put up a fight if I think she's ending things for a selfless reason."

Her mom let out a long, drawn-out sigh as her back his the cushion of chair in a slump of defeat. "All this in one fucking weekend."

"As I recall, you and Michael met at a wedding, and that single weekend with you was enough for him to decide to transfer schools, just so he wouldn't have to let you go." Kade responded. "Your story was one of few that made me believe true love actually existed, and just never managed to find me."

"And now you're trying to tell me it has?"

Kade looked over at Bianca, his smile faint, but no less beautiful. "It just might have. I suppose only time will tell me for certain."