Petal [h.s.]

NINETEEN - I ALMOST DO

I glared over at her, "You aren't funny. I'm talking about Finn."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes, "You are so jealous."

"I am not jealous." I snapped back, standing up and starting to pace again, "I just don't like him. Who does he think he is, just showing up like that?"

"He's her best friend. They go to this festival together every year, it's their tradition." Buffy said, shaking her head.

"And he's been a jackass to her!" I said, thrusting my hand in the direction of the wall.

"Like you haven't?" She replied, standing up and starting toward the door, "Alright, I'm out. You are seriously losing it, Harry."

"Because she makes me feel this way!" I shouted, unable to hold back my feelings any longer. I heard my voice crack and my chest tightened when Buffy turned around, looking shocked by the emotion in my tone.

She frowned when she saw the look on my face. I knew how I must seem to her, how insane this all sounded. She didn't know the full story. She didn't know about Apartment X or our connection to one another. She didn't know me as well as she thought. In all truth, nobody knew me the way Arabella did. It was why I couldn't shake her.

"She makes me feel like I'm-like I'm fucking crazed. I can't stop thinking about her. Every second of every day since she showed up... I don't know what I'm doing anymore and I'm fucking..." I cut myself off, still pacing back and forth as I spoke.

"Okay, hold on..." Buffy said, breathing out a quiet sigh as she held a hand out, "I feel like I'm missing half the plot. Have you been spending more time with her than you let on? Because I mean... I know you like her, but you clearly like her more than I anticipated."

"I..." I paused, swallowing harshly as I met her eyes with a wince, "We... may have... slept together a few years ago."

"S-slept... slept together?! You... wait, so you knew her when she moved in?" She asked, eyes widened in shock.

"Yes." I admitted, licking my dry lips, "Do you remember Chase Dalton?"

"'Course I do. I used to fuck his sister." She laughed, shaking her head in confusion, "What does Arabella have to do with him?"

I sighed, "He used to go to this... fuck, Buffy, this is embarrassing."

"Oh, come on. As if I haven't witnessed every embarrassing moment in your life." She laughed, folding her arms over her chest.

"He used to go to a sex club in New York." I admitted, looking away from her stare as I did so, "And he got me in."

"Okay. A sex club. That's... unexpected." She said and I looked up at her with a glare, "It's just different for you. You're so vanilla."

I scoffed, "It's not like I want to be. You know how things are with... whatever. So I went to this sex club. After the accident, I just... I don't know. I was numb and I wanted to feel something, I wanted to do something new. I was stupid. I never should have gone... but that's where I met her."

"Arabella hanging out in sex clubs makes a lot more sense than you." She smirked and I glared at her again.

"Obviously." I stated dryly, "Look, it happened, okay? We did it and we both agreed we'd never see one another again. I mean, the whole point was anonymity. I didn't recognize her from here... I didn't know or I never would have gone through with it!"

"This happened right after the accident?" Buffy whispered with a frown.

"Months later. Maybe a year? That time was such a blur to me... I was so fucked out of my mind." I ran a hand through my damp hair, looking at her, "The only time I felt close to normal was..."