Should I Leave? 🖤🤍

I Should Just Leave...

Trigger Warning!

🖤 - Angst
🤍 - Heavy Subject Matter
Characters! Seth Abberath, Levy Valentine, Celeste, Gandalf, Zander Wraith, and F'Jang Alister

Seth POV
Where am I? ....
Where am I Supposed to be? ....
Am I bound to wonder this Realm for eternity?
When will this gods forsaken cycle end...

Sigh
This morning I woke up the same as usual. I was hoping to arise like a normal living being for once but here I am...
I had just woken up from another nightmare in cold sweat, sitting up shocked and slightly terrified, but nothing I haven't dealt with before.
I look off to my left and see a familiar face, pretending to be asleep.
"Morning~" I force a smile on my face to show I'm okay. "Were you watching me sleep?" I tease
"Wha?! No!! I wouldn't do that! That's creepy!" My partner, Levy, quickly dismisses my call out to her.
"I-I'm heading downstairs to the others now, okay?"
"Mhm, of course! I'll be down there when I'm ready" I reply
"Don't take too long this time!" Levy jabs
"Hey!!" I chime back before she leaves the room.
I try to quickly get ready before heading downstairs. I check over in the mirror before I head to the group of others "okay, I look normal. Nothing out of the ordinary and you don't look like you're on the verge of tears anymore. I think I'm ready" I reassure myself and then proceed out the door and descend the staircase.
"Morning Seth!" Zander brightly greets me as usual
Everything's normal
"Finally, what took you forever?!" Levy teases me
"Oh hush you, I wasn't that long" That was good
"Are you wanting to order anything for breakfast? We already ordered everything so I can head to the tavern keep to ask for something else for you" Gandalf asks me if I wish for anything
"Ah no I'm alright, thanks though" you don't deserve that
Levy taps the seat beside her with her hand, gesturing for me to sit beside her
Good, I haven't done anything to piss her off yet, she still wants me around
I sit down next to her.
"Gandalf, do you mind getting him some hot cocoa? He likes that" Levy quietly asks Gandalf
"Oh yeah! Of course!" Gandalf abruptly stands and walks to the bar table
I jab Levy in the side with my elbow
"Why'd you do that? I didn't want anything" I don't deserve their kindness
"I can tell you're lying, and I know what you like anyways so it doesn't matter" Can she read me? That shouldn't be right. How'd she know
"Sigh, fine.... Thanks"
"Of course! Anything for a Friend"
Gandalf then returns with everyone's drinks and says he'll be back with food.
The scent coming off of my drink puts butterflies in my stomach. Ones that bounce and bite the interior of me, begging for something to feed them
When was the last time I ate?
I sigh again and take a sip of my hot cocoa, a tingling feeling nips at my tongue.
Look at me, the child burning his tongue on hot chocolate.
"Tsss... fuck" I grimace
"Pffttt- hah! Did you just burn your tongue on your hot chocolate IMMEDIATELY??" Levy laughs at me
Why'd she have to notice?
"No I did not, this is me savouring the flavour of my amazing drink, how's yours by the way?" I ask trying to change the subject.
"Mmmh it's pretty good" Levy had ordered a black coffee
"That's good"
At this moment, Gandalf had returned with everyone's food, he even handed me a plate of toast.
"You didn't have to, Gandalf" I look up to him handing me the plate
"No I did, I've noticed you haven't eaten in a while so please eat this" why are they being nice to me? Don't they remember our encounter??
I begin to eat my food and drink my hot cocoa after cooling it.
As we do that, we decided to plan our course of actions for our upcoming quest.
Our adventure wasn't until a few days from now as we needed to wait for the corrupt guards to take lead. It's never too bad to be prepared ahead of time.
Our plan was the ambush the guards at the gates with the not-so corrupt guards.
"Hey Levy! I wanted to show you something outside that I learnt!" Celeste calls out to Levy to join her, she had her hand out.
"Oh sure!" Levy grabs Celeste's hand
I stand up to join them, but Celeste glares at me and then looks to Levy and smiles, leading her out the door
Is this... what it feels like to be left behind? Or not wanted? No- I've felt that before... what is this...?
I sit back down, staring at the remains of my hot chocolate.
I hate this feeling, what is it???
I look over towards the door and see Celeste still holding onto Levy's hand while dragging her away
I can't do it
I head back up to my room leaving my hot chocolate.
What is she going to do?? Why is she taking her from me??
NO! She's not yours! Levy is her own person!
I make it to my room. "...hmm I haven't written in a while" I say as I sit down at my desk and grab my paper and ink from my bag. "What should I write today? I need to pick up on my journal entries, haven't done those in a while"
I grab my ink quill, dipping it into the glass bottle that holds the dark black liquid and write down what has happened since the last time I wrote.
~~
I finish my writing up, and look down at my page. I'm missing today's entry
Ehh, today has barely started, I'll write that later on tonight.
I ponder on what to do, as I realize I've been sitting down for a while, the door opens. To reveal, Levy! ... and Celeste, they are laughing together.
"Oh! Hey Seth!" Levy greets me "Whatcha writing?" She asks. As she finishes her sentence, I look up to the figure behind her.
Why is she still here? Please leave
Celeste then looks at me with the same glare.
No, no, no, no, NO! She's trying to take her away from me, she's trying to take Levy's mind away from being my friend. What do I do???
I suddenly remember the way Levy looked when she walked in, she looked so.... Happy. I then remember how many times she's cried by my side, how sad she looked
"Oh nothing too much, I'm just writing what's been happening on our travels, nothing too important really" I reply to Levy's question while looking towards my journal, flipping it closed and returning it to my bag.
As I feel a stare on my back, I begin to think that Celeste wishes to be alone in this room with Levy.
I grab my bag and stand
"Uhhh I'll leave you two alone" I begin to walk towards the door
"Thank god" Celeste whispers but I overhear her.
"Ah! Actually, Levy, may I speak to you alone really quickly?" I turn towards her
Maybe I can... still... before... this is my last chance
"Uhh sure, I guess, I'll be right back Celeste" Levy looks over to her to reassure her.
I take Levy's hand and I lead her down the hallway, down the stairs and outside the tavern.
As we exit, I look towards her, a more... tense and awkward atmosphere settles around us. If there were people around us, they quickly left.
"Levy... I need to talk to you about something..." I feel this feeling looming over me, I begin to feel nervous, avoiding eye contact with her.
"Well... I'm here now? So you can talk to me about it" she says attempting to look into my eyes
"Levy, I know we have technically not known each other for very long, about half a year now, but, in this amount of time, I have grown so close to you and I cherish every moment we have around each other. I wish for these moments to continue. What I think I'm trying to say is. I love you" I've really done it, I honestly just said that to her. I rushed it because I was... jealous. What did I get myself into? It's silent, too silent, I've made her uncomfortable haven't I? What have I done.
"Ah... well... I do too.... Or I did at least" Levy looks down to her feet and fiddles with her hands
"Huh?" Is the only thing I could manage to say
"What I'm saying is, I did love you, but my love for you has passed... passed onto someone else... and that person has told me the same thing you have just today. On a happy note! She makes me happy, she makes me laugh, and I'd like to spend more time with her. I hope you understand Seth, you still are special to me"
What have I done
What have I done
What have I done
Of course she's moved on, why would she even like you in the first place?? You've made her cry, you've hurt her, you're not good for her.
You would've only done more harm to her than good
What were you thinking? Idiot
"I- yeah t-that's understandable, I thought I'd let you know- but uhm... she? If you don't mind, Who are you with?" I couldn't help but stutter out my curiosity.
"Uhm... its... Celeste. She told me earlier when she pulled me outside. I accepted because I feel... different feelings towards her. She makes me smile" Levy seems flustered
O-of course. Of course Celeste...
Out of everyone... Celeste?
She hates me, she sees nothing but red towards me.
I can't stay here. Levy is the only one that makes me feel safe here, or wanted here.
And if she's with her she'll begin to hate me.
"Well, if you want, I can grab my things and- go to a different room?" Why is it hard to speak? Hold back Mal, hold it.
"If you wouldn't mind? It would make it easier for us to spend time with each other" Levy seems to be happy after I said that.
I nod and head inside.
I make it to my- the room, Celeste is still there
Why would she have left anyways?
"I'm just here to grab my stuff"
"Oh so she told you then, huh?" Celeste seems to know exactly what's bothering me
"I-"
"Of course she did! Because she loves me now. She'll be over you, and she'll heal. You realize you're bad for her right? You're corrupted and only filled with troubles and problems. You're filled with malice of your own! You would've just been a bigger burden on her than any help! You are only thinking of yourself and what you want! Grab your stuff and leave, know that I'm watching you, if you were to even speak to her, I'll kill you." Celeste scolds me whilst holding onto my shirt
I need to leave
Not safe
Leave Malachi
No one here cares
You're are being threatened here
You need to go
You need to...
You need to...
Reset
"I get my place Celeste! Dear Gods, I got what you mean. I'm leaving. Now let go of me" anger, get rid of emotions, either anger or nothing.
Nothing is good
I slap Celeste's hand away and walk out the door, Levy is just walking towards the room now.
"Seth?-" Levy tries to talk to me
"I-"
remember what Celeste said
"I'm just heading into another room, Levy! Don't worry!" I flash her a smile. She nods and walks into our old room, their room now.
I place my hand on another rooms door handle. I feel my heart throbbing against my chest. It hurts. The feelings are resurfacing.
I hate this feeling
I need to get rid of it
My chest hurts
I whip the door open and push it shut, trying my hardest to not draw attention to myself.
Malachi don't you dare do what you're thinking
I have to
Don't do it! It's my life too!
You would've been dead anyways!
Malachi I swear to the heavens! Don't, don't lose yourself over this!
I need to restart
Restart
Restart
Restart
My mind begins to race, I search my room high and low. Frantically looking for something to end this horrendous pain in my chest.
The throbbing is too much
I need it to stop!
I finally look to my bag
I loom over it, hanging on one of the chairs placed in this room.
I reach inside, and grab onto what seems to be a metal rod.
MALACHI DON'T DO THIS! WHAT IS THIS GOING TO DO TO HER?! TO EVERYONE?!?
I need the pain to stop
I start to pull it out
My head begins to become hazy
It's unbearable
My mind become blank, the second voice in my head screaming my name, it begins to fade.
I don't hear anything
My eyes become blurry
My arms are beginning to move on my own
End the throbbing, it's painful. Please find a remedy for this pain
I can't hear
Couldn't even hear the footsteps
My arms reach out
I can't see anymore
I couldn't see the door handle turning
Not the light creep across my floor as the entrance opens up.
STAB
Everything seems to fade. Things go black
I can faintly hear my name
"MALACHI!!!!"
Levy... I'm sorry...
The throbbing...
It was... overwhelming
Maybe... I'll see you again
In a different life?

I chose to Leave
Reset
Back to the Realm of Waiting again