Joke "fanfics"

Real Life Fanfic: John's salvation

Author note: This is my attempt at writing a real life fanfiction, or real person fiction, whatever you call it. I think writing fanfics of real people is creepy, disgusting, disrespectful and stupid (I'm not sorry) if they haven't given permission and can be those things even with permission too, I don't encourage it, this is a joke, and this a fanfic of myself.

There is a person, one of their nicknames being John, also known as Eulb and Mako. Their real name won't be told for their safety. It was February 1 2022, John's favourite time of years was over. Their favourite time of years was December-January. John woke up in the afternoon, 17 o'clock, and thought of this fact. They forced themself to get out of bed and clean their mouth and went back to bed to rest some more. Wow, they actually did it quickly this time instead of procrastinating for a long time! After resting they sat in front of their computer like usual and checked their Facebook and DeviantArt inboxes. They ate their meal, which had egg, bread and orange. The weather was cool and sunny, only a small amount of clouds were in the sky. They listened to music for some time after finishing their meal. While listening to music, they thought of the fact that they had written a real life fanfiction of themself back in December, the fanfic's events were starting to take place on this very date in it. They shrugged it off, it's not like they believed it was going to come true anyway.

Their lonely ass decided to fuck around on Discord. They sent a funny stickman saying "send this to your friends or I'll be in your kitchen 3 hours later" doodle to Gerbill, porno doodled in an undetailed way to Viro, silly anime gifs to Bean, the question "What was the last sentence you read, not counting this?" to Pinkie, a leaf being eaten to Leafy, middle finger to Daax, and a Shrek meme to Pigeon. Awaiting for their responses made them feel less lonely. John kept thinking they weren't valued by these people much, but they were wrong, they all valued John very much and didn't want to live without John. John decided to draw something very cool, so they started working their ass off on it. They spent hours working on it, but took stupid breaks to look at things on the Internet and listen to music while working on it too. It was night now, the weather was a bit colder and there were less clouds outside. John finished the picture they were working on, they were proud of it. They spent the rest of the day looking at things on the Internet, listening to music, talking to Viro, writing some notes and making some quick doodles. Time passed. It was 5 AM. Now it was February 2. John was still sitting in front of computer doing the usual stuff. John thought about how pointless their life was and how they didn't know a lot of things that they desperately needed to know very very much. But then, something very unexpected happened. They felt someone talking to them, it wasn't a voice, it was telepathy. "Don't worry, all your dreams will come true in the exact ways you want, infinite happiness is awaiting you in the future, the future that you keep getting closer and closer to." John felt terrified and questioned if they were going insane, this was highly unexpected. They already had mental issues and knew it, but was it getting worse and worse? "It's okay, I'm real." John felt more relaxed and relieved somehow, maybe whoever is talking to them sent them some sort of positive energy. "And I now can talk to you when you want or need. Because you have truly become a good person with a pure mind." John was so very extremely happy, this was one of the best days of their life. They spent a few more hours awake doing stuff very happily and went to sleep very happily.

Days passed, now it was February 23. John woke up, they had a funny dream. It had been a peaceful and happy month. On this day, John also spent great times and met with pleasant surprises. They looked forward to tomorrow. Now they were looking forward to a lot of days. And they had started being more hardworking and imaginative about their artworks this year, giving their works more time than before too. After an unimaginable miserable life, things had finally started to get better for them. With this powerful alien who was telepathically talking to them on their side, they knew they were going to be alright. You know, "Someone once said that that place was consumed in darkness, but that doesn't mean... that there was never any light." Even the most painful situations, the weirdest situations, the most stupid situations, and the most random situations can bring us great benefits and advantages. And great things can come at unexpected times. Let this story of someone nicknamed John be a lesson to you.

End.

Edit 2.02.2022 = Yeah, things went nothing like this. But I guess you expected that.