Chaoskouji

Arc 4 Chapter 12.5.4 - SS Kushida 2

And for that, I would support him as much as I could.

I felt in some way that I did the same for him.

Someone who self-professed to never know what a close human relation was, and I could be there for him. It was the least I could do, to show him what it was like to have someone who cared, and I was more than happy to do so.

Two damaged people, helping each other heal.

Then there was Horikita.

My nemesis, my enemy, the biggest threat to the sole purpose of my life.

Kiyotaka had promised he would help me expel her. And yet, he seemed to not be making any attempt to do so.

But, in this particular case, I didn't mind.

Some interesting rumours had begun to fly around our class. Tensions were rising, seemingly out of nowhere. People had begun to notice the strange change in behaviour of two well-known figures in the class.

Horikita and Hirata seemed to have a problem with each other.

Surprisingly, no one knew what had happened, or why they were out for blood. All I knew was that they had been quietly talking to people, building networks, and testing the waters on how our classmates would stand, if it came to a conflict.

It was incredible.

I had known it would be hard to expel Horikita. She's a model student, and for her to ever make a mistake that would result in her expulsion would be very unlikely. I knew that even Kiyotaka would struggle to get rid of her, although not for a moment did I doubt that he could.

But if he was simply biding his time, waiting for his opportunity, and in the meantime playing this game, then I was more than happy to play along.

He hadn't told me anything about this, at least not yet. But I was sure it was him. I could sense his hand behind everything going on between them, antagonising the two against each other, in a way that other people couldn't even fathom. In a way that even I, with all my secrets as leverage, would struggle with.

He had potentially turned two of the best students in our class against each other and done so without anyone realising.

It was beautiful, amazing. So subtle, and yet we could watch from the sidelines as our class collapsed into anarchy.

It could even be part of his plan to expel Horikita. I had absolutely no idea.

Usually not knowing would terrify me.

But if it was Kiyotaka I strangely didn't mind.

Because I trusted him.

I believed that he would come through, that he would fulfil his promise and get rid of Horikita. And then, when there were no more dangers, it would be just the two of us, together, ruling this school.

Yes, Kiyotaka knew me better than anyone. He knew my secrets, my lies, my true self. He should have been my greatest enemy, someone I hated more than anyone, more than Kasumi.

And yet, there was no one I trusted more. No one I would rather fight for, fight with, stand by their side, his side.

It was unthinkable, that in four months I would change who I was so drastically. To go from fighting alone, to seeking out the company of my partner.

Yes... partner. That's what we were. Partners.

The old me would have scoffed, been betrayed, disgusted that I would give up such secrets. And yet, I couldn't find it in me to care.

One exception. That's all it was. I would never, could never, trust anyone else, no one. I would forever be bound by my curse, my desire, to know the secrets of everyone. I didn't care that I was damaged like that, because that's all I've ever wanted.

But I could make an exception for Kiyotaka.

It was terrifying. I couldn't even tell if he was honest or lying, with his never-changing face he gave nothing away. He could think I was absolute dirt and was just saying what I wanted to hear, and yet... I didn't care.

Ahhh... what a mess this all is. I'm so pathetic, to be acting like this.

I guess, in the end all that matters is that I'm by his side. The safest place in the world, and the most powerful position to hold. To have the favour of the devil incarnate and fight alongside him.

What more could I ever want?

Authors Notes:

So, there we have it. Kushida SS, because i thought it was important to address what she went through. I would have liked to do a Horikita or Hirata chapter, but it's getting excessive at this point, and I'd rather save those for future events.

I did my best to avoid mentioning the words love or attraction, because right now (no promises for the future) that's not what she feels. Ayanokouji is providing her with something she's never truly experienced before, and so her relationship to him is more infatuation, curiosity and a desire for more of the same. There might (read: definitely) be some romatic feelings mixed in, but in her conscious mind its the allure of something new that draws her to him right now.

So, that's the end of Arc 4. Holy shit, what a journey. It's been months since i started writing, and I'm still enjoying it just as much as I was back then. One third of the story is complete now, two thirds to go.

This fic reached 100k reads yesterday, which is an insane number. Thanks to all the people who congratulated me for it, it's something i never expected, nay dreamed on when I began writing this stupid idea i had in my head. Yes, i still cringe at the name sometimes, but it's my fic and I love it. I'm never going to stop writing it, at least until i reach the proper ending, and I hope there's always people who are here to enjoy it. It's a pleasure to share my work and ideas with all of you, and hopefully this can continue for many months.

As always, hope you enjoyed!