The Bane of Light

The Bane of Librarians

Panic choked me, making me scramble back and away from those black, lifeless eyes. My back slammed into the bookshelf as I grasped the shelves for stability. My hands clung onto them behind me as I attempted to find something to grab onto, something to hold. I found nothing I could use, nothing that could protect me.

Paris' eyebrows furrowed, as he examined my panicked expression. The green instantly came back out, as if the demon who possessed him had completely disappeared. Paris was back in control. There was no demon. I was aware of that. I was aware that his eyes went dark because of excitement, because of black out rage, but it did nothing to calm my panic. It did nothing to calm my fear—my constricting lungs as my chest rose and fell in panicked gasps.

"What's wrong?" Paris asked quickly, grabbing my face to make him look at me. I had been staring off in horror, mouth gaping as I tried to breathe.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Paris asked again, and I quickly scrambled off of him. He didn't hold me in place, allowing me to frantically back away.

"Nothing" I told him, my voice wavering. He didn't know? How could he not know? My hands were clammy and cold as they shook, and I swiveled around, turning my back to him. Something descended on me, inhibiting my view from my left eye. I was like a mouse, with a hawk swooping down to snatch me in its talons. A whip of panic struck through my system. I went blind.

The black cleared from my eyes, restoring my vision and allowing me to access the situation as my chest fell and rose in heavy pants. Paris was staring at me with a bewildered look, cradling his hand. It was Paris. I wasn't a mouse and he wasn't a hawk. He wasn't trying to hurt me. He had reached forward. He was trying to grab my shoulder, not my neck, but I struck him in him down anyways, blinded by my hysteria.

In my panic, I had reflexively struck his wrist, targeting his pressure points, and temporarily making his hand loose mobility. I had originally learned the technique because it gave me enough time to run, while they fell paralyzed. Paris' hand fell limp. I backed away further.

"I- I'm sorry" I quickly scrambled, my back hitting a shelf. A hard corner dug into my spinal cord, but I still didn't stop my attempts to flee. I kept pushing back, despite there being nowhere to go. I barely registered the pain as the wood bit into my tender skin.

I looked down at my own hand. My pointer and middle finger were curled up, my thumb tucked inwards, still curled up from the attack. I grabbed my wrist, holding my hand to my chest, before looking back up at Paris, my eyes wide in panic.

"I didn't mean to do that—I—you— you grabbed me— I panicked—" I stumbled over my words, my head hot as I desperately tried to conjure a comprehensible sentence. Paris looked confused. A chill washed over me, making my lips numb as they refused to cooperate, as they refused to form proper words. A slush of syllables slurred from my mouth as I scrambled for an excuse.

"Why did you hit me?" He asked in a dumbfounded voice. He didn't sound angry. Simply confused. Frazzled. He didn't seem hurt by it, physically. Obviously he wouldn't be hurt. The move was meant to paralyze, not hurt. He was a warrior in training, he had suffered worse blows. He had endure worse injuries by a thousand. But why did I feel so horrible then?

"I didn't mean to" I repeated, "I didn't mean to" My voice broke as I retreated like a cornered animal, "I promise didn't"

I would never hit like that. Not when it was  unprovoked. Not when he didn't do anything to hurt me. Not when it wasn't in self defense.

"I— I have to go" I said, backing away. Paris reached out towards me, but his efforts proved futile as his fingers came back with wisps of shadowy smoke, besides my arm. I watched as they slipped between his fingers like sand, and he looked up at me with a betrayed expression on his face. He looked more upset that I was running, then the fact that I immobilized his wrist. I shook my head apologetically, backing away into shadows, till I was completely submerged in the darkness of the shadow realm. And then I began running.