Lost my reputation | B.E.

Chapter 4: downhill

Her reality.

So what if people think Billie's an ass? She'll still sell just as many albums as a couple of days before. Her streams will remain unaffected, and as a consequence, so will her bank account.

She'll be fine.

"yeah well, try getting bullied by the entire internet, we'll see if I'm still being dramatic" the blond sasses, finally willing herself to like the damn fan art.

Fuck it.

At least if that fan had been mad at her because of the entire thing, there is now a tiny bit of hope that Billie might end up getting at least one fan back on her good side. People on the internet are so quick to hate on celebrities just for the fun of it, and two seconds later, they're back to stanning or whatever.

Though, Billie's aware her fans don't actually hate her – they're just holding her 'accountable', whatever that means. That goes of course for those fans who are shitting on her at the moment. 

She's not talking about the ones who would defend her ass no matter what. Because, for the most part, her fans are fine – and even if they disagree with her, they don't trash her so much.

The general public, however, she knows is the main problem. The way she sees it, it's only just a matter of time until Youtube videos start popping up, dissecting whatever event happened lately, deciding it's time to erase her from the public eye.

It's a sick game; picking and choosing whatever's good for a clickbait title, carefully selecting what piece of information needs to be included and which one needs to be forced silent just so nobody finds out about the missing piece - just so the entire image depicted fits the bad guy narrative to perfection.

And eventually, the media will eat that shit up, deciding she's not worthy of being a public figure, an artist in her own rights with her own art. Writing headlines and claiming Billie Eilish must be ended – demanding that stardom is officially over with.

Billie knows it all too well.

They don't care about shit except the amount of money they're going to make out of someone's misery. It doesn't matter if they break an entire human being, as long as the headline brings in some couple hundred bills.

Like that man who made that video about her boobs when the vogue cover came out. That asshole piece of shit had sprawled a bunch of idiocy, professing it as some kind of mediocre depiction of reality, shitting on a teenager for being just that – a kid.

And to be honest, Billie is tired of random misogynist old men pretending to speak for the entire humanity, when in fact, they are just throwing around the wastes of human thoughts.

Where people hear a bunch of words strewn together - supposedly what everyone thinks but couldn't have said better themselves, Billie just hears an entire mess of jumbled words, a pathetic excuse for laughable thoughts - a disgusting soup of stupidity, really.

Yet the words cut deep, because it's only human to care a tiny little bit about what people think, and what if he was right in the end?

What if she just is a horrible human being?

What if she has no respect for herself?

What if she has no integrity?

What if she is just selling her body?

What if her entire existence belongs to everybody else now that people have gotten a glimpse of what's hidden under her clothes?

"Excuse me, I get bullied by your scary-ass fans just for allowing you to date your man" Y/N corrects a bit too loudly as she messily pulls a t-shirt over her head. It's only half a joke, because who is she to allow Billie anything. Plus, that girl is a damned free spirit, famous or not.