reckless | tartali

i love you

"you are too reckless."

zhongli could feel the blood dripping from the other's forehead soaking into his own hair, smell the tangy salty scent of metal and sweat. heavy puffs of air brushes against his lips and he can't help the fond smile that slips onto his face.

"haha, zhongli xiansheng," childe's voice vibrates from where their foreheads are connected all the way down to zhongli's feet. it's pleasant. "you worry too much."

the brunette hums, and amber meets cerulean.

back from a fresh and bloody battle with some ruin guards and hunters, childe's eyes really do shine the brightest in these moments. although zhongli doesn't like the idea of his companion going out to fight without him to keep watch, the sight of him sweating and smiling so brightly makes it worth it. he'll scold him later for wandering off on his own.

it's warm and wet when zhongli's pulled into a comfortable hug. he tucks his nose into a wine red collar from muscle memory and his hands find rest on childe's shoulder blades.

childe sighs and visibly relaxes into the embrace, bringing his own hands to zhongli's waist and burying his face into dark brown locks. he decides that he loves zhongli's scent: glaze lilies and osmanthus wine, with a hint of blood. he can't get enough of it.

the other must have heard and felt him sniffing his hair, for he pulls his head back and frowns. "what are you doing."

blood, still wet, drips from childe's chin when he grins, "you smell nice, zhongli xiangsheng. are you using a perfume?"

zhongli huffs in amusement, a dusky pink frosting his cheeks. and blood. childe's not going to tell him that, though.

"shameless." his face softened, "but no, this is my natural scent. do you find it pleasant?"

childe pulls zhongli back into another hug and twirls his ponytail around a finger. he watches in fascination as the silky strands slip between his fingers, fades from a deep brown to a vibrant orange. "hmm, yeah. but that's not the only pleasant thing about you. ah, i could tell a whole speech to liyue harbor of how lovely you are, xiansheng."

zhongli's hands shift in their hold on childe's back. he wonders if childe felt his hands shake.

never had he thought that a mortal could bring him to tears. in the centuries after her death, it was very difficult for zhongli to experience many pleasant emotions. it seems like this eccentric human is the one to undo those years of black and white. with ajax, he could forget about being rex lapis, morax, archon of liyue, god of war and commerce. with ajax, he's simply zhongli.

the tears that fall from his eyes soak into the once well-pressed, now wrinkled suit.

he loves him.

he loves ajax so dearly that he dreads the day they have to part.

he dreads—

"you were too reckless."

Ajax

7/20/XX - 11/13/XX

zhongli's forehead feels numb against the polished stone. his knees are soaked where he kneels in the rain, eyelashes fluttering when a raindrop strays too close to his eyes. it's cold.

he doesn't know how long he's been kneeling here, clutching onto a ruby and silver earring like a lifeline.

he just feels.. numb.

ajax, beautiful and strong, but far too young to die. he is- he was the best warrior and an even better companion. zhongli thought they would have more time together. zhongli thought they could have been lovers if fate hadn't taken ajax away so quickly.

there were so many things zhongli wanted to do with ajax. he wanted to kiss him, hold his hand, laugh and fight together. he wanted to watch ajax's hair turn gray, watch as he grew old peacefully and happily. die a beautiful death with zhongli by his side.

but none of that happened. and none of that could ever happen.

the first and only mortal to have such a tight hold on his heart was wrenched away far too quickly and violently.

the tsaritsa sent tartaglia on a mission he wasn't cut out for. the enemy's power was on par with morax himself. so he perished, the vision on his gravestone dull and gray.

and zhongli didn't know, not until the funeral 10 days after his death. when he saw ajax's beaming face on the altar, surrounded by glaze lillies and starconches, his world fell apart. ajax's family were there too, and that's when he was handed ajax's favorite earring. they pat his shoulder with a pitying withered look, like they knew how much zhongli meant to ajax. he didn't speak a single word throughout the procession. his mind was in a daze of disbelief and sorrow.

he is immortal, and like all his other immortal acquaintances, he has to move on. it took him centuries to move on from guizhong, and it'll take him even longer to move on from ajax. zhongli dreads the inevitable years ahead.

with a last hopeless tear to water the grass on ajax's grave, zhongli places a single glaze lily next to all the other flowers on his gravestone.

he has been here far too long, zhongli decides, sensing xiao's eyes on his back from a distance. he may not be an archon anymore, but he still has duties to carry as zhongli.

so, he presses his lips against the headstone, just like how he would kiss ajax's forehead when he'd fall asleep in his office. he whispers the words he always longed to tell the mortal, and replaces his own earring with ruby and silver.

this is zhongli's final goodbye.

a/n: please lmk what you think and dont be shy to tell me things i should fix :D