Behind Her Tears

Chapter 1

My eyes fluttered open, forcing me out of my happy place. I groaned as I sat up gaining full consciousness again. My eyes scanned my plain bedroom searching for where I put my hoodie last night. There it was, in the corner of my room crumpled up next to my dresser. I walked over to it and slipped it over my tank top. I then shuffeled through my  dresser for my leggings, I found them and slipped them on to.

"Time for school," I sighed to myself. I walked out of my room and down the stairs while running my hands through my hair. Sebastian, my oldest brother, was sitting at the kitchen island next to Dylan, my youngest brother. I am the youngest in the family with 2 older brothers. Their eyes turned to me before tuning back to each others with disgust in them, I've never had the strongest connection with my brothers, I used to be best friends with Dylan tho, I don't know what happened, one day we were best friends then the next he wasn't talking to me, I was 7 and he was 9. I'm now 15 and he's 17, Sebastian's 18. 

I walked to the toaster, "H-Hey guys," I said trying to talk to them in hopes of a response this time and not just an eye roll, "Can I have a ride to school,  please?" Not even sparing me a glance Sebastian said, "No, walk to school. You need the exercise anyway." He muttered the last part behind is hand but I heard it still, my eyes slightly glossed over. I'm used to this but it still hurts. I look down at my stomach that was slightly visible through the baggy hoodie. Dylan bursted out laughing, they started talking about how chubby I was but I just grabbed my toast and walked away. I slowly began to walk to school down the cold side walk while eating my toast. I couldn't ask mum for a ride, not after she's been to the bar last night.

I made it to school late to 2nd period. Great. Slowly walking to my class, English, I opened the door and walked up to my teacher, I told her I slept in and she believed me, 

"Alright class, Charlie will be joining Bella and Stacey's group." The teacher spoke up. What, a project? no, I cant do this with Bella and Stacey. My hand started to shake slightly but I grabbed it and began walking to them, 

"H-hey guys." I spoke , they turned to me glaring, then then whispered something about having to be working with this nerd. Bella slid the papers over to me, "You better put yourself to use if your going to be in out group." 

"Cant we split it," I asked hopefully, I cant do this whole thing right now. "What, do you expect me to do this?! What am I A SLAVE?!" Bella whisper shouted the last part at me. My body froze, Of course I knew she wouldn't do any of it, I just wanted to hope. 

"N-No Bella, of course not." I breathed, "I just, I cant handle another project right now."

"Awwww boo hoo the little nerd cant even do her job right, what, are you going to talk about your pity little life next?" Stacy chimed in. The bell rang and I picked up the papers and headed to recess.

I sat at one of the lunch tables and began to work on my homework, I need to get as much done at school as I can. I was sitting there in my own world but then all of a sudden I felt something cold and sticky getting poured on my head, I turned and saw Bella with a slurpie cup in her hand, "Oops, my hand sliped" She said with a smug little smirk on her face, my hand reached up to my head and it was drenched, what am I going to do, shit. 

"Aww the little nerd was doing her home work, hope I didn't interrupt!" she laughed with her friends, I gathered my things into my back pack and ran for the bathroom with tears pricking my eyes, once I stepped into the bathroom I turned to the mirror and saw lime green liquid dripping from my hair. I dunked my head into the sink and started washing my long brown hair. The bell soon rang and class was starting, fuck fuck fuck, I attempted to dry my hair off and walked into class. Mr Brown took one look at me and said, 

"Playing in puddles were we Charlie? You've just granted your self a one way ticket straight to after school detention!" I froze, detention? no I cant. Moms going to be so mad with me. shit. "For now," Mr Brown added, " You can clean up in the nurses office." I stummbled out of class, my feet feeing heavy and my bag dragging along the floor. Tears fell down my face one by one. 

~~~~Time skip to lunch~~~~

I stumbled down the hall from the nurses office to the cafeteria. I saw a seat next to a window and sat down. Pulled out some of my home work and my lunch. I have to pack it as I don't have money or a job. I took a bite of my jam sandwich and wrote down some work. The peace and quiet didn't last for long, unfortunately. 

My paper got ripped from infront of me by a hand with long white acrylic nails attached to, shit, Bella. Slowly I turned, "What do you want from me, Bella?" She snickered like that was the dumbest question ever, "Look, you cant just disrespect me and think ill forget about it, got it?"

 I sighed and looked at my homework crumbled in her hand but another hand reached into my hair and pulled my head up to look at them, Stacy. "We are going to ruin your life and make you wish you never stepped foot into school today," Right after she said it she looked at Bella as if to make sure she said the right thing. 

"I already didn't want to come to school bitch." I rolled my eyes. She threw my head down while letting go on my hair, "So the little nerd has something to say?" I looked up and saw my home work getting teared up, "NO!" I yelled reaching for it but it was to late, I felt tears fall from my eyes and saw people turn their heads, I reached for my bag but it wasn't there, Stacy had it in her hands with my lunch, she poured it into the bag along with my water bottle, tears fell uncontrollably from my eyes, I just picked myself up and raced out of the cafeteria and into the girls bathroom, but along the way I saw my brothers laughing and pointing at me with their friends, who were laughing, along with almost every one else.

I stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, What did I do? I kept asking myself. I stayed in the bathroom for the last period and made my way to detention. I sat down in the back corner next to the window, The teacher passed me the paper and I began to write an apology letter to Mr Brown and the Principal. Soon the hour and a half was done and I ran outside and started running home. What excuses can I use this time. From running as quick as I could, and with out a bag now, I soon made it to my home. I cracked the door open. Trying not to make a single sound. But once I peeked in, I saw my family sitting at the dinner table eating spaghetti, I sucked in a breath and made eye contact with my Mom. 

"Where have you been? You little slut, how many guys have you fucked now, Hmm?" Anger lingered in her tone. "I- I was just taking a walk," I started walking over to my seat but she stood up. "A little, filthy, liar. JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER!"

 She screamed at me, a stinging feeling gathered on my cheek and a ringing sound filled my ears, tears pricked in my eyes as I looked at her, "Dad wasn't a liar." I protested, which I shouldn't have done because she grabbed my wrist and pulled me up the stairs and into my room, shoving me in as she gripped my neck, I reached my hands up and clawed at her hands, desperate for a breath.

 Slowly my vision blurred and she let go, my legs failing to hold me up as I collapsed to the ground with a loud thud. She kicked me in the stomach continuously causing me to cough up a little blood. Tears streamed down my face as I watched her leave. 

AUTHORS NOTE

This was the first book I've uploaded to wattpad so i'm nervous . I have lots of plans for this book, its going to contain: suicide, selfharm (cutting), eating disorder (maybe), rape, sexual thingss, abuse. and also lesbian pride! I've been looking for a book like this so I'm making it myself, if thats too much for you then maybe skip this book.

WORD COUNT: 1556