When all the lights went out, the smaller ones came to life. As the sun fell behind the horizon, the moon appeared in a wake.
Everyone will be replaced. As long as one human is born and the other has to die, it will not change.
Pain has arisen in my heart once again.
The pain, which was neither seen nor heard, only manifested itself at night in the form of tears.
Why am I here?
Why am I still alive?
Why does it still hurt?
I can't get rid of it.
A body writhing in pain crushed the sheets, though I couldn't fully move.
I wanted to scream but was afraid.
I was afraid of their gaze, just as they were afraid of me.
They were afraid that I would do something they could not even imagine.
They were afraid, but at the same time they ignored my begging for help.
They were afraid even though they were the cause of the pain.
The stupidest thing that ever happened in my life.
A smile full of teeth that grind together just to hold back the sound of my mouth.
Loud inhale and exhale as another wave of tears left my eyes.
Why is it so hard to say it out loud?
When I thought about it so many times.
They felt sorry for me, and I felt sorry for them, not wanting to hurt them as they had hurted me.
Why do I still care about them?
What's holding me back?
Their mock concern?
Their mock smile.
Their mock interest or maybe lies?
They take care of me and yet I have never heard anything like I love you.
All I heard was secretly complaining about my person, hoping that I would never know anything.
But I know I'm a problem.
Their only and biggest problem that they carry on their shoulders.
If they had even said it to my face, it would have been easier for me to end myself. I wouldn't wait so many years to stop feeling anything.
It was a maddening pain.
Pain that sometimes manifested itself through a feeling of emptiness.
Pain that I preferred to sleep and be called lazy.
I just didn't have the strength to get out of bed, I just didn't have the motivation to do anything else.
I just didn't see the point in trying to do something and still be called lazy.
I didn't want to be like that so much.
More than anyone could imagine.
I also wanted to be happy.
I would also like to have some talent.
