Berengaria's Best: The Ultimate Short Story Collection

Ruffles Returns!*

Ruffles Returns! (originally written for the Halloween Vault 1)

I don't know who left the window AND his cage door open, but somebody did, because they were both wide open and Ruffles was gone when I woke up.

That was about two months ago. I printed off flyers with cute photos of him on my shoulder and taped them up all over the neighborhood. Have you seen Ruffles? Blue parakeet with black and white crown. Reward for information as to his whereabouts!

Neither Mom, Dad nor my big sister, Katie, missed Ruffles like I did. They didn't even want to chip in on the reward money.

"Good riddance. That dumb bird pooped on my glass swans more than once," Mom said, her eyes glued to her phone, thumbs furiously texting her friends across town.

"Yeah, and he bit my finger that one time, too." Katie glared at me.

I missed Ruffles a lot, but in the end, I had to accept that he was gone for good.

So, just imagine how surprised we all were when Ruffles reappeared in his cage one Tuesday morning, chirping merrily and swinging back and forth on his little swing.

"Ruffles!" I cried, hugging the cage.

"Ruffles," said everybody else, shaking their heads and frowning.

After about a week, I noticed something weird. Although he looked like Ruffles, he didn't always act like Ruffles. He didn't shred the tops of the kitchen curtains when he had his twenty minutes of free-flight time. He also didn't knock over his water dish all the time. Or constantly ding his bell with his beak. Or try to nip my fingers.

Then everybody else stopped acting like themselves, too. Mom didn't pick up her phone for a whole evening and when I came home from school, she was in the kitchen baking cookies. I didn't know she even knew how to bake cookies!

Dad stopped griping about working late and started taking us all out for ice-cream and to the roller rink. And he hasn't complained once about the prices!

Katie suddenly took down all the posters of the boy bands plastering the walls of her room. She's now in the chess club and teaching herself Latin. She hasn't made off with any of my clothes in weeks!

As for me, I've developed this strange interest in fire.

And lighter fluid.

I still love Ruffles just as much as I used to, but I sometimes get the feeling he'd really like to see what happens when lighter fluid is poured all over the top of our neighbor's car and a match thrown on it.

And you know what?

So would I.