When love came knocking

Eight years too late

Flash back

One Tragic night..........

No, it couldn't be. He hadn't heard right. It just could not be, because things like this couldn't happen to them; No, shouldn't happen to them. Not after everything that they had been through. Life, they had learned from an early age, could deal with some pretty hard hits. 

       For goodness' sake, they were already down and counted out how many more hits could life hit a man when he was already down. Even as part of his mind tried to deny it, the other part, broken and battered, clasped onto the bits of information. Trying desperately to make this data into some sort of language that he could understand. 

     He was smart, though he rarely let anyone know it. He was the worst student in school, but at home, a home where there was no peace, seemed to be the only place that he could tolerate studying. So yes, he was smart, and he knew what his dad had just explained to him, but his dad had to be wrong. Just like he was wrong for even thinking that it could be true. Still, he had to go find out for himself. He had to leave and just because there was still the possibility that it was true; he had to leave right away.

     Also; because he knew that if only it turn out to be right, he wouldn't or couldn't leave another broken man when he was down. How could he possibly expect to enjoy happiness now when he had no right to it? He was a man now. At least that was what he had told himself those two months ago, when he had turned eighteen. 

      Grown men should not cry the way he cried now. But he couldn't stop. He shook his head and wiped away at them. More came, and he wiped those, too. Surely his father would not expect him to behave like this. But then again, his father always seemed disappointed in him so it wouldn't be anything new. So he cried anyway. Even through the tears, he could feel the anger and the hatred radiating off of him. No. He said it again. This was not real. This was a nightmare and he would wake up. No matter how bad the nightmares were, they always went away. Hopefully, this one would go. He paced up and down by the river. 

      His breath becoming more and more heavy. Eventually, it took too much effort to breathe, and being wicked to himself, He ran. After about two miles, he heard a voice in his head saying slow down. It was Sarah's voice. Her voice was soft and sweet and always with a hint of love behind it. How could he not listen to her? So he stopped and caught his breath. 

      He walked the rest of the way and stopped all the way across town. Right in front of Sarah's house. He had to leave town, and he had to leave tonight, but he should tell her and explain why. But the why reminded him he wouldn't return soon and being away from her for any long length of time would be very hard.

       He couldn't expect her to be ok with that, since he himself didn't know when he would return and she was only seventeen and not free to leave the State at will and her mother definitely wouldn't give permission. He stood there for an hour again and then he decided. He had to go now and his feelings would impede what needed to be done. He really saw no choice. Jed didn't bother to stop home for clothes and stopping to see his parents was a waste of time since they never really cared. Earlier tonight, they had reminded him of that. So he prayed for forgiveness and headed to the airport.

                                                          CHAPTER 1

Eight years..... Jed thought. Eight long years since he had left providence. Now he was back in his childhood town and nothing had changed as far as he could see. The air smelt the same; the houses were the same; the businesses looked the same and his heart definitely felt the same. He felt a slight shiver of his usually steel nerves as he dared to wonder if all the occupants would be the same. Damn, he shouldn't start lying now. He really only wondered about one person. Since he was fourteen, he had only ever wondered about her. 

         She was the heart and soul of this town as far as he was concerned. Well, actually she was plain and simply put, his heart and soul and his only reason to have stayed in this town as long as he had. She was still his only reason for wanting to be here now. He wondered if Sarah would be the same. Then again, how could he seriously expect her to be? He could only hope that her kind and gentle personality was intact, but he doubted. After all, there was only so much a person could be expected to take.

        His leaving in the middle of the night, without a word, a letter or a call was surely too much to bear. Worst yet, eight years later, still no call, text or letter. He wanted to. He really did, but the anger was too much. He'd always been filled with such anger and hatred for too many things to count. That night was just too much to bear, and despite the terrible fight he had within his own mind, it was settled. It wasn't supposed to be a choice. 

        He loved her too much; enough to know that more anger and hatred wasn't what she needed in her life. She'd had enough of that in her life already. It was a cliché to say that if he'd heard her voice or just saw her again that he couldn't leave, but it was definitely the truth and God knows he really needed to leave. The reason that he had to, flashed in his mind all now and still to this day, made him clench his fist. The anger and the hatred were still there, but he had finally dealt with it. Not it really, but at least the cause of it. He was confident that he was missing the best part of his life and he didn't want to waste any more time. He had already wasted eight years too much.

      He really couldn't understand how he had made it that long without her. He needed her now, wanted her now, but would have to wait a little longer.

      Hopefully just a little, cause his heart couldn't take it any longer. He knew he couldn't just come back into town and pick back up where he left off. He would find out for himself how to go about it as soon as he was set up at the station. He was back in town now to take over the new job as Chief of Police, but as soon as he settled in, he would go see her. 

       Even if it was against both common sense and book sense. He understood the wrath of a woman scorned. He had prepared his mind for a lot. After all, he was well seasoned at being cold-hearted. Partly because situations had forced him to be, but mostly because he wanted to be. Happiness had been out of the question without Sarah. Sadness wasn't something that he dwelt on and anger was just too damn exhausting after a while, but it was the only emotion he could use. He really wished he had kept some anger though, because it was going to be hard competing with the anger that he knew she was still bound to have.