You Try (Even when the world doesn't want you to|| WayV Lucas Angst

"I'm ruined" - "okay"

Then Xuxi would be mad, raging and angry because  how dare he make these wonderful, beautiful people feel like that?!

And so when the tingling came back while standing in front of the mirror, he didn't say anything. Although hot pain flashed through his legs and the urge to fall to the floor and cry overcame him, he didn't ask for help. Because he didn't need help, he didn't. 

He had caused this to himself by being dumb and stupid and not knowing when to stop. He would get himself out of this,  he had to. 

Muscle cramps were another thing the doctor had mentioned, and, to be completely honest, he didn't need the doctor to explain that one. Xuxi wasn't that much of an idiot not to notice the terrible pain on his muscles for the past 5 months. Another one of the consequences of his idiocy, and because of that, he would deal with it himself, there was no need to call the others. No need to burden them with something he had brought upon himself. 

He just had to make his useless legs move out of the bathroom so he could flop on his bed and not open his eyes for at least 10 more hours. 

But because the universe seems to hate him, that did, in fact, not happen. 

Because when he tried to walk out of that awful bathroom, the cramps that had faded a second ago came back with a vengeance, and he couldn't help the pained gasp that escaped his lips as he fell to the floor. 

"Fucking dammit", he whispered while hitting his leg with one of his damaged hands. 

He couldn't help the couple of tears that escaped his eyes as he stared at the floor. Xuxi felt...he was scared, frustrated, terrified, angry, sad, in pain, and so fucking afraid. His hand came to rub harshly at his eyes, trying desperately to stop the water from coming. He was being embarrassing,  weak,  and he had been enough of that already. 

Then there was a hand on his shoulder. A small gasp left Xuxi's lips as he came face to face with Sicheng.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you," he rambled. Guilt churned at his stomach, because once again, Xuxi had fucked up. He had woken Sicheng up when he didn't need to. He could handle this by himself, even if his body was too weak to stand. 

"I- I was just..." what was he doing? He couldn't exactly say: 'Oh hey, I was just wallowing in anger and pain and thinking about how much of a waste of oxygen I am. Would you like to join?' 

He didn't finish the sentence in the end. Didn't know how and didn't particularly care when his legs felt like they were being stabbed. 

"It's okay," Sicheng whispered, as if talking louder would cause the boy in front of him to break. Xuxi wasn't going to lie because, in that precise moment, it probably  would  break him... more , if that was even possible. 

"I was up anyway." Xuxi knows that is a lie. He had checked before leaving the room. 

Instead of arguing with the older boy, he just nods, rubbing his eyes once more. 

"Hey," Winwin said while taking Xuxi's hands into his. "Don't do that," he said, maybe a bit harsher than intended if how Xuxi tensed was anything to go by.