My fake a** friend and my crush

2021

I finally know why he doesn't want me.

My friend Alex told me why Thomas didn't want me.

Alex said that it was because of 2 things.

1.

It is because of my best friend Jessica... I sometimes feel so bad for her, because everyone is so fake to her. I know many people who doesn't like her.

Alex and Thomas is one of them, they have both told me that they hate her. Especially Alfredo. He told me that he really doesn't like her.. he hate her.

I can kinda see and understand why tho.

It's because the way she act.

She always get me in the "bad light" and tell people stuff that isn't true, so she can feel better about herself. She always hit me or say stupid things about me, so im the one who's the bad guy. She makes me feel so stupid like I can't do anything in school. She always stress me out when she's talking about homework or if I didn't attend to a class. She keeps talking about it and that im very far behind, so I can't catch up. She never listens to me when im talking. Only if it's about some specific persons or if it's about her. She thinks everything is about her.

It makes me so sad and angry, because I do really care about her but it seems like she doesn't care about me..

Even my mom told me to spend less time with her, and get some new friends.

That was the same thing Alex told me..

Alex told me that the reasons why Thomas didn't want to be with me is because im with Jessica almost 24/7 

But she's the only friend I've known for the longest time, and I don't know how to get knew friends, im socially awkward.

2.

Thomas don't want me because he thinks about others first than himself.

His best friend Max likes me... 

They have a "boy rule" 

It's kinda like wolves, when they see their prey, then its their prey and no one can take it. im the prey and Max and Thomas are the wolves. Max kinda knew/saw me first and then Thomas was too late so he couldn't get me. So he had to surrender and push me away.

It hurts so bad, because I wanted Thomas... not Max.

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Me, Thomas and Max once spent a lot of time together. It was AMAZING. We hung out at the skate park and listened to music and talked a lot. Sometimes it was only me and Thomas. We once went to a graveyard in the middle of the night it was so freaking scary, but I was with him, so I felt safe. After the gravyard we went to the dark forest, it was kinda romantic because it was only me and him alone in the forest... I kinda liked it. 

He always followed me home so I could get home safe.

But something happened and our friendship ended...