Frozen

Chapter 7

Note: Final Edit

Nick Fury makes sure I can be with him as much as possible. Steve suffered so many wounds, no one would have survived them if it wasn't for the super soldier serum; internal bleeding due to multiple stabs and gunshots, broken ribs and facial bones, a heck of a contusion. Also, he almost drowned to death.

It's been three days, and he is healing, but has not woken up.

The first day I only got a shower and changed, and came straight to the hospital. Steve was in surgery to get the bullets removed and repair the organs that got damaged. Natasha is helping Fury and Maria deal with the fall out of S.H.I.E.L.D, but has made time to check on Steve and me.

The second day, Sam brought Reyna as a ploy to get me to go and rest a little. She took me to her house, and made me explain everything. I told her as much as I can before falling asleep while talking. The events of the week are passing toll on my body, and the worry and nightmares are not any better. I prefer to be in the hospital. She also tells me that the Congresswoman was arrested together with Senator Stern. Natasha leaked all information in the internet, and many people are paying for their illicit affairs.

Today, Sam comes and takes over so I am forced to go and eat something to the cafeteria. Which I hate, but I still do. When I comeback, he is reading by the bed. He sees me enter, and puts the newspaper to the side.

"You are looking more human now." He notes. "For a minute I thought I would have to hospitalized you too."

"I am okay, it's just been a lot of changes in a small amount of time. A lot to process." I answer him.

"I owe you an apology."

"Why?" I sit on the edge of the bed by Steve's legs.

There is so much in Sam's expression. I can tell that he is looking at me but sees Riley instead, he finds his face in the little things we had in common.

"I wanted you safe that I resorted to gaslighting you and made you feel crazy. I realize how fucked up that is, but it scared me that you could be taken just like Riley was. I am really sorry. I should have always had your back." He tells me. I put my hand on his knee, and smile. "I will be a better friend."

"Apology accepted." I say as I smile at him.

We stay in silence. I take my hand back from Sam and hold Steve's. I look over at his sleeping, bruised face. It makes my stomach turn just to think how much force had to be used to cause so much damage. I have to remind myself over and over that the Winter Soldier couldn't give the final blow, that Bucky saved Steve. Only that way can I keep my negative feelings at bay.

I am so tired of the hate and the fear. I don't want to be scared of the dark anymore. I want to experience complete and unrestrained happiness.

There must have been something in the way I am looking at Steve, because Sam asks. "So are you two...?"

He doesn't need to finish the question for me to understand.

"I don't know." My stroke my thumb over Steve's hand.

"Do you love him?" His question echos in the room, or maybe only in my head.

"How would I know? I never felt like this before." I confess. "My world turned upside down in the last week. My apartment is destroyed and I am unemployed know that my boss turned out to be part of an evil organization trying to conquer the world. And yet... I feel like this is where I was supposed to be. That it all has let to this. To him. I want to see him smile and happy. I want to hear his laughter everyday. I want to be the reason he does too."