How the times have changed...

There story...

Day. Night. A constant circle of life each day as my body crumbles as I fail to find the happiness I once deserved. my tears become more dry as if my heart isn't accepting the tears to fall anymore. my head feeling more tender with the thoughts overcoming me. my skin wearing away with the cuts of a blade, taking away the scars in my head and adding them to my skin instead. Everyday my tiredness overcomes my personality. I am alone. I'm by myself. how do i get out of this pain? There's not much more than i can take i just have to wait and see if the one above calls for my fait.

My alarm goes off, exhaustion in my body not letting one muscle move. the alarm repeats. my head wakes up with a pounding pain from the day before that added more to the misery. getting up for school everyday seems like a recurring chore with no end. I want to feel alive and not constantly dead.

I walk downstairs dragging my feet amongst the floor. My hands raise to my ears from the screams off my parents.

"you look a mess"

"you should put more care into how you look, no one would want you like that"

"loose weight"

"actually eat something for once, you're made of bones"

"you disgust me"

"I could never be proud of you"

"You're a disappointment to this family"

Everyday. the constant remarks off my parents that i have no energy to try and fix anymore. I walk past them, my hands still held to my ears, my heart wanted to die right there. I had to get out. I just left, no food. no supplies for school. nothing. I haven't got the time to be surrounded by that toxicity anymore.

I just walk, i walk for ages to get to the one place i don't want to be. School. The place that doesn't give a shit about my mental health being important, they only worry about the ones who put them in a bad light so they can be the best but that's not true. The suffering each kid goes through, the constant tiredness, having to complete a day that drags down your self esteem. A round about of life that doesn't seem to end. When will it?

School brings me no light, not since i was a kid when i lost it all. there's always been that part of me that is sad but i've never seen it come out of the dark that what i have these past months of my sorrow life.

I walk into first period. English. everyone staring at me, i look around and see my desk at the back, as usual, i walk with my head down avoiding the stares. No one will acknowledge me back there. Not even my teacher.

*She starts calling the register*

"Jones are you here!?"

"I'm here"

"Jones?!"

"I'm here miss"

"right, i didn't see you come in Jones."

Again. Not acknowledged by anyone. constantly ignored. constantly unloved and for what. what have i ever done?

I just start to read, books take away my life so i can experience the happy ones inside these pages.

It was silent. It was lonely. until i heard a voice. his voice.

"i'm sorry i'm late, i took the wrong turn"

"hmm a coincidence isn't it Miller, take a seat" -teacher

You know how everyone has that one person that makes them feel whole. That someone who makes you feel okay when you are at rock bottom. that's who he is for me.

Jack Miller