the 1 | chaennie

39. Bad Blood

March came far too soon for Rosie's liking, although she was excited about hitting the road again for her latest tour. She just wished Jennie could come with her. It would all be perfect then. But it was an unrealistic expectation, not only because their relationship was a secret, but because Jennie had her own career to think about too.

The weeks leading up to Rosie's departure were full of her attending auditions and running lines, and Rosie knew she'd been offered a few blockbuster roles, but Jennie always seemed to turn them down, assuring her that she'd pick the right role when she found it. With the early critical acclaim and academy attention from her childhood stardom, Jennie had the liberty to take work when she felt like it, and not because she needed it. Still, Rosie was riddled with restless guilt as she thought about Jennie sitting at home and twiddling her thumbs while her girlfriend played sold-out arenas and venues to massive crowds. She wished she would take a role just to know that Jennie wouldn't be alone, stuck waiting for her to come back on her breaks.

Rosie never told her that, of course, and never pushed the issue with her, but she grew agitated the closer her date of departure loomed. It was an inevitable parting of ways, a slow, mournful march towards the eleventh, when Rosie's flight was booked and she would have to say goodbye for an indefinite amount of time. She would have breaks, of course, but Jennie had her own life that didn't revolve around Rosie's scattered schedule. They were hopeful that they'd be able to coordinate with each other, to steal a few days here and there, but there was the lingering resignation to the fact that it might be a while before things lined up.

Still, they were confident in the security of their relationship. There were no doubts about where they stood, what they could handle and whether they could stand the distance, and it was with an air of delightful surprise that they realised that they'd soon be approaching their first anniversary. The first one they'd ever made it to without some sort of chaos and fraying at the seams unravelling their entire relationship. Bolstered by the fact that they'd have that at least, that they'd be able to see each other then, in a gap in Rosie's touring in April, it was somewhat bearable to say goodbye again.

Wishing that they could say goodbye in the departure lounge of Miami Airport, to hug each other tightly and share a kiss, before Rosie left and Jennie waved her goodbye when she looked back over her shoulder once more, they said their quiet goodbyes in the stillness of the grey pre-dawn morning.

Rosie slipped out of bed and quietly got ready for her flight, leaving Jennie fast asleep in the big bed, wishing she could stay there with her for another five minutes. Her suitcases were already set near her front door, as was her guitar, and shunning the idea of a hasty breakfast as her time with Jennie dwindled down to a handful of minutes, she gently woke Jennie.

"I have to leave in a bit. The car will be here soon," Rosie murmured in the darkness of the room, feeling an ache in her chest as she smiled sadly down at her girlfriend.

Mumbling incoherently, Jennie struggled to sit upright, fighting her way out of the cocoon she'd made from the blankets, and rubbed at her tired eyes. "Oh. Okay. You're all packed?"

"Yeah."

"Did you eat breakfast? Do you want me to make-"

Reaching out to brush her hair out of her face, Rosie quietly chuckled, her eyes burning with the urge to cry. She was going to miss her more than she thought, miss the nurturing way Jennie loved to look after her, the way it felt to laugh with her over the silliest things, and how it felt to just be with her, both of them doing their own thing. Rosie hadn't known how just being in someone's presence, absorbed in her writing as they dwelled in silence could make her so happy.

"I'll eat at the airport."

"Okay. But make sure you do; plane food is awful."

Ducking down to lightly kiss her cheek, Rosie smiled against her warm skin, "I know. I promise I will."