I Hate You

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  He canceled the show again because he couldn't concentrate. The fucker, he's such a diva. " I'm not in the right mood, I'm not doing it", " I can't find my bandana, I'm not going to do it", " I don't like someone from the crowd, I'm going home". I'm so tired ! Sometimes he is right about the crowd cause some people hurt us with stuff or someone was hurting another person from the crowd but when he is doing this shit I can't stand him. He is one of my best friends but sometimes I want to beat the shit out of him.

  Because he canceled the show again I went out with the boys. We drank and we talked about Axl . Izzy said he can't do it anymore and he will leave the band. I don't want him to leave us because I love him and I'm so used to see him at the rehearsals, when we write lyrics, almost every day with us on the road. I will miss him but maybe he will be happy without us. At 2 am we went back to the hotel. I was sharing the room with Axl but I didn't wanted to see him. I was so angry I didn't wanted to punch him so I slept in the same room with Duff and Matt. The next day I went back to my room and he was sleeping. I sighed and I said

  " Miss Diva wake up " but he didn't respond

  " Axl I'm talking to you, wake up "
  " Do you think I'm stupid ? Do you think you can fool us? Me? Izzy? Duff? Matt? Everyone?

  " Fuck you" he said finally looking at me

   " No, fuck you Axl ! I'm so tired of your behavior and the boys are too ! Izzy has left the band because of you, people are getting angry because of you, we go on stage thinking about what will the diva do, we can't do this for a long time, you will lose me, Duff, Matt, you will be alone because of your behavior. Just shut the fuck up and sing that all you have to do. I hate you so much and the problem is that I love you too idiot. Your best friend since childhood left you today, your fucking best friend left you and you are just looking at me without saying a word...  I'm done with you for now ! " he was staying at the edge of the bed looking at me and that made me more angry than I was. I leave the room going back to Duff

  " I can't fucking stand him anymore!"

" What happened now?"

   " I went to our room and I tried to talk to him but he just looked at me like I was a fool and he knows everything . Does he think we are all his fools? I'm tired of this shit " I said sitting on the edge of Duff's bed

  " He will come at us at one point."

" How can you be so calm? I'm a calm person too but I had enough... "

" I try to understand him but sometimes I can't too so I'm still trying"

" Let's go eat something "Matt said

  We went to a restaurant nearby and after an hour I go back to my room to take a shower, Izzy had his plane this morning. He didn't even wanted to see his best friend. I open the door and Axl wasn't in the bed

  " Axl, were are you? We have a show tonight again " I go to the bathroom thinking that maybe he was out and I found him on the bathtub . He was holding a box of pills in his right hand and a bottle of jack in the other one

  " Fuck Axl, what did you do?!" I screamed. I go at Duff's door screaming

  " Duff, help me please! Duff!"

  " What happened ?" said him looking at me scared

  " Axl tried to kill himself ! He has purple lips call the ambulance !"

  " Fuck, fuck! I'm calling now "

  I go back at Axl and I put my hand on his chest. He was still breathing heavy

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