N.Y.I.Y.T.R. | Ryujin Nippon One Shots

If She Leaves | N.Y. [A]

A/N: Probably one of my favorite works in this collection.

Could be because it's loosely based on my own experiences lol.

Cheating on someone is the lowest of the low you can stoop down to and I hope y'all value your worth enough to dump a guy's ass once they even think about doing this to you.

Love yourself first before giving your all to someone.

Enjoy xx

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

Drip. Drop.

You watch your reflection on the stainless steel drain as you crouched forward, hands gripping the sides of the sink. You were zoned out, blankly staring at your own eyes as water droplets fall from the ends of your bangs.

Ah, the thoughts won't shut up.

You felt like you were on the verge of getting vertigo as you hyper-focus on your own breathing. The Internet said meditation helps a troubled mind but you don't think it's working. Not when the silence felt so deafening it might as well shatter your eardrums.

Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4.

Useless. Nothing was barricading your thoughts. It was all Yuji, Yuji, Yuji—nothing but his name, his smile, his laugh, his scent. You wanted nothing more than to reset everything with a snap of your finger.

But here you were, bloodshot red eyes staring at your own reflection as you envision his face in your mind. An image that once brought light into your life was now burning it into flames.

Snapping out of it, you opened the tap and splashed some water on your face once more, hoping it would bring you some sort of mental clarity.

It's been quite a while now; being stuck in a twisted love affair. Nishida Yuji, your boyfriend of 2 years is cheating and you've been aware of it for almost 3 months now. You know he's been going out every night to see her at a faraway cafe. You know he's putting on a façade when he's with you, smiling that stupidly bright smile of his to fool you into thinking he's not falling out of love with the woman he'd promise to marry. 

You know everything. Absolutely everything, except the reason why.

Why was he staying with you if his heart was with someone else? Why was he climbing in your sheets every night knowing he'd rather be with her instead? You don't know. None of it made sense to you. You felt so stupid for thinking you knew him so well when all this time you knew nothing at all.

You felt numb, so, so humiliated by the fact that he think you wouldn't notice. Though in hindsight, maybe you would've been better off not knowing. But you were always so conscious of how he acts around you. You want to blame it on his popularity, but really, it was because of your own insecurities acting up, thinking he'd leave you the moment he finds someone better.

You laugh. Huh, how ironic.

You didn't tell him but you noticed the loss of glint in his eyes faster than he ever could. How he no longer steals glances at you when you're with his friends, nor kiss your forehead before you sleep. You can physically feel how cold he's becoming beneath his mask of happiness and it was killing you slowly.

Emotionally exhausted from crying yourself to sleep the night before, you let out a deep sigh before grabbing the towel to wipe your face dry.

He didn't come home last night. His excuse this time was his family. He lied, with his usual tone that he had to drive down 4 hours away from Tokyo for some "important dinner with his sister's family". But of course, you were close to said sister, who just so happened to tell you that she was currently in Tokyo to take the kids sightseeing for winter break. He doesn't know that you know and you wanted to keep it that way.