Short story's :)

The earth is my anchor

I was much like the hills in such a way that we were both divided by a river.

A river of remorse.

A river which had the capability to both heal and drown, run and diminish, lift things up and drag things down... down to the depths of nothing.

As you probably guessed i was dragged, left helpless and drowning my cries for help turned to gargles submerged in my own sea of remorse.

Use the earth as your anchor they say. Use the world, use nature to lift and revive you. Use religion use anything... anything to help you breathe on your own... therapy.

Now I'm in therapy. They push and force me to spill a story that has barely begun, no regard for feelings no regard for me. Me, the very person they claim to be helping, the very person they should care about but don't. They dig and dig and scrape and scrape to find the root of a problem that they are causing to grow... oh no the hours up, it's out of their pay... they don't care anymore not that they ever did the mere drive to work only fueled by money nothing more.I quit.

I quit therapy. It wasn't working my cries for help muffled by their questions and constant disregard for health. I don't need help. No one cares. I should just carry on swimming in the river hoping it will drag me down before i tie the weights to my ankles myself.

I'm beginning to feel helpless the cold of the water surrounding me choking me... drowning me, the waves hitting my face, water in my eyes, my ears, my nose, my mouth... silence.

All went black nothing... happiness in the clutch of my hand finally. Until I was pulled to shore, eyes opening knowing I would fall into the river again and again and again until one day the weights would work. I would be dragged down just enough to never see the light again.

I understand now, the earth IS my anchor but not to ground me or to keep me alive and well, calm and at peace, happy and connected... no. The earth IS my anchor because as long as I'm alive as long as I'm on this earth and as long as people keep being people, I will get dragged back into that river and the earth will be my weights, my anchor until I'm brave enough to stop struggling and accept the water with welcome arms,