Love Within For A 100 Days

PROLOGUE

"Love, what do you want to eat today,hmm?" Mom ask me,i shook my head as a response.

Wala akong gana kumain ngayon, feeling ko kahit pagkain ngayon hindi ko na kaya, There's a question in my head that no one can explain to me,in billions of people living in this word,why am i the one experiencing this pain,why me,bakit did i do something terrible to receive this disease? im to young to die,I have so many plans,goals and dreams that i want to achieve.

Thinking the possibilities of what could happened to me the next day,the next minute,the next hour or any minute that passed,all i could do is cry and let myself be burden in pain,my thoughts full of negativity and unfairness of this life that i had,I can't even show my affection to that man whom i love the most,cause i know that i'll still leave everyone behind.

Sometimes i question everyone 'Do i deserve this?More than those people who lived to make other people misserable?' but no one's explanation satisfy me,i know everyone will leave but why is it me the first one.

Everytime i think of leaving this world behind, leaving the people i get to used to,the people i valued the most,i wish to vanished with their memories with me so that they won't remember me,in that case they won't feel the pain i had.

----

Im laying down as usual while watching movie on my tablet,I like to watch movies, especially those action and horror genre,i rarely watch romance, i don't believe in happy ever after,but then someone step inside my room however i didn't bother to look who might it because im busy watching.

"Hello?" A guy voice said, napalingon ako agad ng mapag-tanto ko kung sino ang pumasok,nang masigurado lalo ay agad akong naupo sa gulat.

"Why are you here?"slightly panicked tone i asked,but he just looked at me.

"How are you?"  He asked, napakurap kurap pa ako na lalo nyang kinangiti.

'Why he's so cute when he's smiling, God  Everleigh  mamatay nangalang naharot kapa, remember there's no such thing as love anymore'

Napailing nalang ako sa naiisip ko, tinignan ko naman sya at naka tingin parin sakin kaya nailang akong lalo.  Nakakatunaw sya kapag natitig ,kaya nakakailang.

"What!?" Mataray na tanong ko sakanya, pano hindi kona kaya ang  pag titig nya sakin.

"Nothing,i just find you beautiful"he said and give me a smile

"Are you kidding me? This....this soon to be bald girl infront of you is beautiful...i guess you need an eye doctor"i sarcastically said.

"I dont see a soon to be bald woman,i see a beautiful woman"he softly says,that makes me blush in an instant tsk.

"Sabi sakin ni tita,you didn't eat the food they serve to you,what do you want to eat?i'll get and feed you"he politely ask then show me a smile.

"Anything," i shortly answered,he just nodded and took something from the paper bag he was carrying the whole time.

"This is your favorite right"Masayang hayag nya sakin, tinignan ko naman yon at nakita ko yung favorite kong carbonara. Agad ko namang kinuha yon sakanya ng walang pasabi, narinig ko pang natawa sya sa inasta ko pero wala akong pake.

I've been here in the hospital for almost two months, and my body is getting weaker because of my illness, especially when I'm on chemotherapy,if only i could make it more easier for all of us,but i still want to stay.

Tadashi always visit me here every day with her driver or his body guard,because he's still a minor and he's not allowed to leave their house alone.

Yung iba kong friends minsan lang pumunta dito dahil busy rin sila sa school, pareparehas silang grade 9 na , minsan naiinggit ako dahil sila nakakapasok ako hindi, dahil sa kondisyon ko kailangan kong manatili sa hospital na to.

Staying here is like staying in a prison that i was been detained until i die,but even thou it is forbidden for me to go outside,i skip and always goes to the roof to see the whole view of the world i'll soon leave, reminiscing those short amount of time i got the chance to explore everyplace i've gone through,that i knew that will never happened again.

I miss my old self

I miss my old life

I miss my freedom

I miss those days i can enjoy and excitingly waiting for tommorows adventure.

--

"Maam,nandito lng pala kayo,lagot nanaman kayo niyan kay doc"hangos ng nurse.

"Bakit?"

"Masama po kas--"pagputol ko doon

"Bakit ako?"tanong ko, araw araw kong tinanong iyon sakanya

"Maam may plano po para sa lahat ng tao dito sa mundo"paliwanag niya

"Para ba ko dito sa mundo?"tanong ko nakita kong natahimik siya pero nagsalita din.

"Lahat po tayo ay ginawa para manirahan dito sa mundo at punan ang ating mga misyon"

"Kung ganon bakit ako gustong kunin ng mundo gayung tinatanggap ko naman lahat ng misyon?"tanong ko habang iniintay ang luhang nagbabadya ng bumagsak nang maramadaman kong hndi na siya nagsasalita doon na ako tumigil at huminga ng malalim bago huling sinulyapan ang view at tumalikod na sakay ng wheelchair ko.

"Tara na"kalmadong saad ko sa nurse at tinulungan niya ako papasok ng elevator hanggang sa makababa kami.

Pag baba bumungad agad sakin si doc "napaka kulit mo,tinutulungan ka naming gumaling pero sinusuway mo ang bilin namin"saad ng doctor ko.

"Sorry doc,tinignan ko lang naman ung parte ng mundo na iiwan ko"pigil na pagiyak na saad ko habang naka yuko.

Hindi na ako pinagalitan at pinag pahinga na sa kwarto ko,pag alis ng nurse agad kong kinuha ang tablet ko at bago pa tumalab ang pampatulog na pina inom nila sakin,nagsulat ulit ako sa diary ko

Dear: Diary
Napagalitan nanaman ako ni doc,pero natutuwa ako kasi ramdam ko ung pagiging consistent niya,if ever man na mabuhay ako,utang na loob ko ang lahat sa kanya and i will thank him every day hanggang sa magsawa siya sakin nang kaka thank you, there's nothing more tantalizing than those beautiful view at the rooftop,that is the one thing that motivates me to live longer than the doctor says.

'I slowly felt the effect of the sleeping pills so i stop and the last thing that comes to my mind is "I will live at it's finest,if i survived".