Sacrificed Soul

Chapter Twenty

Junior is sitting on the front porch with our mother when I arrive, and I pick up on the tail end of their conversation once I've slammed the door shut. Our mother is sitting in one of the chairs I've been told was Poppa Orion's, gently rocking back and forth as she listens with hard eyes at her son. Junior, standing and propped against the porch fence, has tense muscles all along his back. Even his neck looks strained.

"It's bullshit! Alpha decree my ass. They shouldn't be able to force this on us," Junior says, his voice growing with each word.

"I don't want to hear this anymore. Oh, Leanne," Maureen says as I approach, clearing the four steps and onto the porch with a little hop, "Lenora's just finishing up."

"Where's David?" I ask when I notice him missing.

Junior scoffs, rolling his shoulders from where he leans against the railing with his arms crossed, "He said he's got work in Bakersfield tonight, but that's also bullshit."

"Junior, I won't tell you again to watch your mouth!"

My brother and I almost go cross eyed, for both of us suffer from varying degrees of potty mouth and neither one of us are looking for a cure.

"What's his real reason?" I ask.

"Beats me," Junior says.

The screen smacks open as Lenora bustles out, her smile both wide and very, very fake, "All ready? Lee, you look great. Junior, you look... fine. Are those your work boots?"

"Fuck off!" He groans, leaping over the railing and onto the dirt below.

"Larry Marcus Orion Junior!" Maureen screeches.

Ignoring the ruckus as our mother chases our little brother with her claws half extended, Lenora turns to me and answers my question, "He really did have work in Bako," she says with a shrug, "But it's hard for gay men to find their mate. I don't blame him for avoiding it. It's a lot of pheremones that gross him out. Sets him on edge, I guess. And outsiders never pick up on his preferences."

"That's strange," I mumble.

He's doesn't exactly scream straight, after all. Dominance isn't just a masculine factor, either, and wolves should know better. Doesn't matter that my brother is born of our Clan Leaders, David has the most brains and brawn of all of us in the next generation, me notwithstanding, and is clearly the next in line to stand as our leader.

Junior screeches, and my sister and I spin only to find him cornered against the car, Maureen's pointer finger right in his face where he practically curls around it, "You better listen and listen good, little boy. Do. Not. Disrespect me."

"We should get going before she rolls him in the dirt," I say, crossing my arms. It's only half hearted though, everyone likes to watch someone else get a dressing down.

"It wouldn't make him look much worse," Lenora says, looping her arm through mine.We lean against each other as we head over to her sparkly car where Junior has evaded our mother by climbing into. She's already relaxed with barier between them, pulling my sister and I into big, strong hugs. She doesn't fully release us, though, studying me a little longer than she does Sweet-girl.

"You two have fun. Be safe, and Leanne, maybe put on some perfume."

"I'm not in heat," I mutter.

"Well, you're close if I can smell it on you. You'll make the males wild."

"Mom, lay off," Lenora says, feeling the tensity rise between us.

"I won't. I want more grand babies. There's never enough of them."

I clear my throat, holding my irritation deep inside of me, "That's on you Lenny."

"What are you talking about?" Maureen gasps.

I look at her askance, "You can't possibly think I want anything to do with puppies. Puppies that I birth, at least," I say, amending the phrase. I love my niece and nephews to pieces.

"That's just ridiculous. The world needs more mates, there aren't enough of them. They are proof of Mother Nature's love for us."

"I don't want one. Please, just drop it."

"I won't," she now sounds like Skunk when he doesn't want to eat his veggies. Now I know what side of the family he gets it from.

"You will," I say, standing tall. I extricate myself from Lenora and stare Honey-girl's mother in the eyes, "Listen to me. Please. I don't want pups. I don't want to risk more wolves like me. Mark and Siobhan are on my ass enough, and I won't raise children under a pack that scrutinizes my every move. I can't trust them to protect me let alone not attack me if I flinch the wrong way. What kind of world would that be for someone to grow up in? Honey-girl, she had her issues with some of her peers. I know this. I remember bits and pieces, but the adults loved and cherished her all the same."

Her mouth gapes, flapping like a fish out of water. I hate that she wears it, as though the reminder that I am not truly her daughter just fucking flabbergasts her.

"I understand that I'm not you're daughter—,"

"Not my daughter?" She whispers, "Is that what you think?"

Lenora has escaped. She slams the door of the drivers seat shut and starts the engine. There is a wild look in her eyes, and I think I see tears in them. I watch her, unable to look Maureen in the eye anymore.

"Leanne," she says, her hand guiding my face back down to hers, "Is that what you think? That you're not mine?"

"Of course. Honey-girl was your child. I'm just the creature that took over her body. I have stolen her name, her family, her fucking life. What am I supposed to feel?" I think I must look as desperate as I feel. My heart is racing, cheeks heated with my irrational anger at the exclusion I am constantly berated by. I don't know how much longer I can stand it, and I don't think I'll be giving the Judson bears a chance to find their way up here. It may be a direwolf that waits on their porch, instead.

"Oh, my girl," she says, her shoulders shaking as she sobs, "That's just not true. You were born and raised by me, too. I am your mother, Leanne. I looked you in the eye that night, and I know I saw recognition in you. I know you."

"You don't," I say, shaking myself from her grip, "And I am not your daughter. Honey-girl is dead."It's too much, the thought that I may have been wrong for these last two awful weeks and I can't accept it. Not right now, when I'm sitting on the horizon of my heat with a mate who both wants and fears me and a pack that would have rather seen bullets pierce my hide rather than sedatives. I break free of her, twisting away and finding myself in the passenger seat of the car nearly steaming with my anger.

"Breathe, Lee," My sister says.

I don't know when she started calling me that, and I don't think I like it, "My name is Leanne, not 'Lee.'"

She sighs, "Alright, Leanne. I understand."

"Do you think the same way about us?" Junior asks. I can hear the hurt in his tone.

"Sometimes," I say, letting honesty touch my tongue as the words drift to ears that are staunchly listening to me.

Lenora puts the car in reverse, pulling away from the house. I close my eyes when we hit the street leading down the mountain, but all I can see are Maureen's tear-filled eyes.