𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞 - kageyama x reader

chapter III

I woke up in the morning to my alarm screaming at me. I was tempted to do the TV thing where they throw their alarm clock across the room, but this clock was damn expensive. I calmly and rationally turn off my alarm and get up to get ready. The clock reads 5:45 AM. This is gonna be a looong day.. I thought to myself.

Once I was ready, I barely had any time to get to school. I was running down the stairs when I heard a knock at my door. Naturally, I went to open it, still brushing my hair when I turned the knob. "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted me to walk with you to school..? We don't have morning practice today, so.." Said a familiar boy. I smile at him. "Yeah, sure! Let me just finish what I'm doing and we can leave. You can come in if you want." I say as I walk back into my house. I hurriedly finished brushing my hair, put my hairbrush back in my room, and approached him once more. "Shall we go?"

When we got to school, we walked hand in hand to our first class that we happened to have together. Y'know, the one we got detention in just yesterday? It feels like so much longer ago now. I feel like I've known Tobio my entire life. Hopefully, we'll be this close- if not closer- for the rest of it.

That class passed, and the entire time, I could not focus. I was too busy stealing glances at him, and occasionally we'd meet eyes and I'd offer him a smile. There were a few times he needed to see my notes because he'd missed them, so I'd give him my paper. There were a few more times the sensei caught me not paying attention and snapped at me to get back on track. But I'd only get lost again.

When that class was over, the next one flew by. And then it was time for lunch. Our lunch is disgustingly early (10:30 AM), but since we have to get up and eat breakfast so early, everyone's usually hungry by then anyway. I try to find Tobio before he can run off with what I now know is the volleyball team. I spot him and wave while calling his name. "Tobio-kun! Wait for me!" He turns around after hearing his name and gives me a smaller wave. I run up to him and hug his arm. "Mind if I eat with you guys today?" He gives a small smile.

I arrived at the lunch spot with the team. Everyone said hello to me, recognizing me from yesterday. They then realized that none of them except Tobio, Kiyoko, and Yachi knew my name. I introduced myself, and they did the same themselves. It's going to take me a while to remember all their names, but I'll try my best.

Lunch was really fun. We all talked and laughed together and overall had a great time. I cannot wait for practice after school today. But for now, it's time to go back to class. To math class, I go. Woo-hoo.

Those last couple of classes flew by and then it was time for afternoon practice. I bounded into the gymnasium, figuring Tobio would already be there, and I was right. He was stretching with the orange-haired boy, who I remember to be Hinata. I gave him a small wave, then went over to where the third years- Daichi, Sugawara, and Asahi- we're stretching. "Hello, senpais!" I gave them my best smile. "Hello, Y/N-san," Daichi replied.

To be honest, I'm only here for Sugawara. He seems the most- how do I put this... easy to talk to? At least to me. I think me and him could get along really well, and personally, I just want someone to rant to about Tobio. Daichi makes me nervous, and Asahi would be hard to rant to. The second years are out of the question, for obvious reasons. Hinata would tell Tobio how I felt and that wouldn't be good, and the other two first years wouldn't care. So naturally, that leaves Sugawara. My logic definitely isn't flawed.

Later I ended up being able to talk to Sugawara by myself, which is just what I wanted. I told Sugawara how I felt- or at least how I think I felt- about Tobio. And the response I got wasn't what I expected. "..Bestie I already knew. We all did." I just stare blankly at him for a few seconds. Well. Now I look really fucking stupid.

"If you're wanting me to try to set y'all up, I was going to do that from the start. From the looks of it, he really likes you, too. I mean, he never- and I mean NEVER- acts that calm around anyone. And have you seen how much you've made him blush? Please, it's priceless." I let out a laugh. Sugawara adds one last thing. "I just have to wait for him to come to me for advice like you did. Seriously, why does everyone think I'm some kind of love genius?? So many people have come to me for advice, for what?" This makes me laugh more. "Haha okay, thank you Sugawara-san. I'm gonna go talk to Tobio now."

I approach Tobio from behind and surprise him with a hug from the back. I feel him jump a little but he relaxes as soon as he realizes it's me. "Oh, hey Y/N-chan." He greets me with a genuine smile on his face. I love it when Tobio smiles, it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Every time his lips curl up, it makes my heart flutter. I can tell that they're genuine, too. Jesus, I think I fall for him more every day.

When I have time alone later that practice, instead of watching them play, my mind spirals into its own rabbit hole of thoughts.

What is love? And I don't mean the hit song by Haddaway. Is this what it feels like? I'm the happiest I've ever been when he's near, and he makes my heart flutter. It's like something out of a movie. But movies typically have parts where something tragic happens to the main character, or they're not the right fit for their potential lover. They always end up together in the end though, right? That's what I like to think, but I'm starting to doubt myself. Even if Tobio and I do get together, will he have enough time for me, with volleyball? Will he end up falling out of love, just like that, leaving me with a shambled heart?

You always hear these tragic stories of two high schoolers that thought they were gonna be together forever breaking it off. I've come to doubt the existence of love itself, really. Doesn't it just seem like a concept that we, as humans, made up because we were so needy? We just wanted something that was unreasonable, so we made up this feeling called "love." If so many people fall out of it, can you really call it love? Or is it just a feeling of admiration we're blinded by, excusing it for love? All of these things are holding me back.

I'm suddenly snapped out of my spiraling thoughts by a concerned voice of a blonde girl. "Hey, Y/N-san, are you alright?? You looked kinda out of it.." I put on a fake smile and make up an excuse on the fly. "Oh Yacchan, I'm fine. Just stayed up really late talking to Tobio-kun, that's all." Fortunately, she believed my lie. "Oh alrighty! Try to get a little more sleep, okay?" I nod at her and start watching the boys play while I fidget with my own hands. They feel empty without his touch, but I'm not sure I want it. If I hold his hands, I might fall for him more, and I can't risk that.

Practice is eventually over, and I walk home with Tobio. I try my hardest not to take his hand in mine. We walk in a comfortable silence. But he can tell I have something on my mind. Fuck, I have so many things on my mind, it won't stop racing from one thing to the next. "Hey Y/N-chan, is something bothering you..?" I falter, and stay silent. "..Is it something I did?" His question shocks me. He doesn't strike me as the type to try to blame himself for someone else's troubles. I finally speak up. "I'm just a little worried about a test I have coming up, that's all." He nods and chooses not to interrogate me any further. A few more moments of silence, and then I speak again. "You and Hinata did really good at practice today. Your skill is crazy." He blushes a small bit and rubs the back of his neck. "Ah- thank you." The rest of the walk was in silence.

When I got home, I went to my room and shut my door, sliding down to the floor with my back against it. With my head in my hands, I start crying. All of my insecurities and intrusive thoughts were coming to me. How could I be such a fool to think he'd ever like me..? I'm annoying and rude, and not to mention I'm not even that attractive. He would never fall for someone as shitty as me. I'm so stupid..

Eventually, I stopped crying and washed my face. The cool water felt good on my tear-stained cheeks. My eyes stung from crying, a feeling I was all too familiar with. I plugged my phone up and sunk into my bed, not even bothering to change clothes, as I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.