ANCHOR || 정국

1| I'm sorry.

-
"And just like every night, I lay in
bed telling myself
that'll it'll get better soon."
-

There is nothing I hate more than being compared to other women. Yes, I get it. Jungkook only married me because of a contract, we both threw away our separate love lives for a whole contract our fathers made.

I won't even lie, Jungkook is handsome, handcrafted by angels, but I've had enough. I'm tired. The lying, cheating, and abuse. It's all too much for me.

His female colleagues looked like models, they all fitted so well with society and the beauty standards, while Jungkook made me stay at home and barely let me show up to his work place. Majority of the time he'd make me wear a mask or a very large amount of makeup, I can't be that bad.

How does one go from feeling so comfortable with herself , loving her body unconditionally without seeing any problems to being insecure, seeing a million flaws, and spending thousands on skin care products just to actually look the part.

The way Jungkook treats me makes me sick internally, it's the most excruciating pain I've ever dealt with in my entire life, the way he's always having sexual relation with his colleagues and then he expects me to feel comfortable while knowing exactly what he has been doing.

I stood infront of his desk and looked at him, he pays no attention to my presence instead he carries on with the papers infront of him. I let out a cough and speak sternly making sure he feels my enraged self. "Jungkook we need to talk." I finally grabbed his attention seeing by how he is currently starring right at me with disgust.

"I'm filling for a divorce." I say, examining him as he rolls his eyes, "This thing we have has to end I don't care about the contrac—."

"Are you done?".

I look down at him in confusion feeling my heart skip a single beat and my ears in pure  disbelief. That's it? That's what he has to say? " I hate you so much right now , from the bottom of my heart Jungkook! I hope you feel the pain you make me feel on a daily basis, I hope all those insults you've thrown at me come back to haunt you, I've genuinely tried Jungkook, for three years, I've been hanging on like some idiot but now I'm done being treated like I'm some hideous monster."

I exhale aggressively fighting away my tears and turn around to exist, "Do you know how stressful my life is? I run a whole company alone, you just sit around and eat all day, besides that, the only reason you're treated like nothing is because you never listen to me, I've been begging you for a child for the past year—."

My heart stops, I'm motionless, watching him scream at me like that was different, something about his eyes. "I've been trying my best to pay all the bills at home, those designer bags I buy you? Isn't that too much of a sign to show you I care? You're selfish, utterly selfish!"

He stands up abruptly and pushes past me while grabbing his car keys from the key holder. "Sorry I'm not like those girls Jungkook, sorry I'm not petite, small waist, cute cherry lips and black hair, but I know for a fact that if you cared you wouldn't let those colleagues disrespect me like this, and actually stop buying me designer stuff and give me your attention." Now a tear drops on my cheek, I couldn't face him again without crying.

We both stand across from each other, intense eye contact. I look him straight into his eyes as my tears just start dropping insanely and suddenly I see glosses appear slowly over Jungkooks eyes, he looks down immediately, my heart aches seeing him wanting to cry, it's been a long time since I've seen him become vulnerable.

"I'm sorry". He grabs his jacket and leaves after mustering up those words, I can't help but feel numb, yet my tears are still pouring down. What happens from now?

Next Morning.
8:04 AM

I wake up feeling not so different, Jungkook is nowhere to be seen in the room, he probably left for work. It's not shocking at this point. I'm so exhausted I can barely feel good, a mere smile is just as hard.

I pull my sheets to the side, and head out towards the kitchen and to my surprise I find Jungkook and his mother talking in the kitchen. "Oh my- Good Morning mother!" I nervously chuckled shaking her hand and bowing. "Good morning my angel." She smiles pulling me into a hug, which caught me by surprise.

I release her from my embrace, and I stare at Jungkook who smiles, "Good Morning Love." I return a smile back, "Good Morning Jungkook." Here we go again, the fake smile's and fake laughter, all to please his mother so she doesn't intervene in our marriage.

"So Jungkook here tells me you're planning to have a child soon? Am I right kookie?" His mother asked. Jungkook nods aggressively. I'm in disbelief. Jungkook never told me we're planning to make a baby. It's my first time ever hearing this. I can't have a kid right now, It's so unfair.

"Uhm excuse me, I just need to use the bathroom, I don't feel so well." I cough and grab my stomach as a fake attempt to run away from this conversation.

She just smiles and nods, besides Jungkook who rolls his eyes and looks the other way. I run back into the room, I don't know what I'm doing that is wrong. Jungkook is seriously insane.

I grabbed my phone and dialled my bestfriends number, the other side rings stating that the call is connecting. Finally Suzu picks up.

"Suzu! I need you to come over today."

"Hey Chaewon, what's the matter?"

"I don't know but I'm going insane, I really need you by my side right now."

"Is it Jungkook again?"

"Yeah."

"I'll see you around 10am."

"Okay see you soon."

"Bye."

I hang up then suddenly the door in my room shuts aggressively, I look back frightened to see Jungkook with knitted eyebrows. "Who were talking to?" He asked staring at the device in my hand.

"No one, just some company." I lie unintentionally, he stares at me unconvinced by my answer. "Get dressed." He speaks sternly as he walks towards the bathroom. "Why, what's going on?" I asked confused by his sudden change of action.

"Everyone is gonna know that we're having baby."

Unedited.