Better Off Dead [Discontinued]

Maybe I'm Better Off Dead, If I Was Would It Finally Be Enough (5)

Authors Note: Hey, sorry for not updating yesterday.I am trying to update everyday. I don't know if you guys caught onto this but, the titles of the chapters are the lyrics to the song. I hope you guys are enjoying my story so far. I strongly recommend listening to the song Better Off Dead by Sleeping With Sirens before reading this. I will always have the video link up there at the top of the chapters. Please tell my what guys think of it, and don't forget to vote!

P.S The parts that are in bold may be triggering.

**RECAP** (Beca's P.O.V)

I couldn't stop all the negative thoughts and all my insecurities from coming to my head.

I reached under my bed and grabbed my box of razors. I had to do cut myself now. I made it on week but I think that's the longest I can take it. So I cut 1 into my arm and realized it isn't worth it. Why keep torturing myself when I can just end it all now.

I wrote down 4 notes. One for my dad, one for Chloe, one for the Bella's, and one for Aubrey. I putthem on my bed and I sat on the floor. I took the blade and placed it on my wrist close to my palm. Then I pressed down and felt a sharp pain in my wrist, but that didn't bother me. I began to cut up my arm, blood flowing out of it. I stop right before my elbow.

I heard someone banging on the door but I ignored it, I was to tired to get up. About 30 seconds later I began to feel very tired and clasped to the floor. I was slowly fading away. My eyes were all most shut when I heard my dorm room open and loud scream. Than everything went black.

NO ONE'S P.O.V

Chloe and Aubrey were sitting beside Beca pressing a towel that they had found under her bed, against her arm to try and stop the blood coming. Aubrey would take turns between pressing the towel against Beca's arm and throwing up. Outside the room, Stacie was calling Beca's dad and the other Bella's telling them what had happened and to meet them at the hospital.

What felt like hours, finally an ambulance arrived and took Beca to the hospital.

+++

CHLOE'S P.O.V

I coudn't believe that Beca actually did it. She tried to kill herself.

We were on our way to the hospital, Stacie was driving while Aubrey and I were in the back seat. Aubrey was holding me, trying to console me.

If you had looked at Aubrey, you would have thought that she didn't care about what had just happened. But that is just the way she reacts when something bad happens. When she was 13 and her older brother had gotten into a car accident and lost his life she didn't cry. I was surprised at first because she was really close with him. But she just acted like it hadn't effected her. I remembered asking her if she was alright and told her she could always talk to me, but she said that she was fine. You could tell she was upset, the first couple days she was more quiet than normal and her eyes got a little teary but non ever fell, but she was fine a week later.

As we got to the hospital all of the Bellas, some Treble Makers, and Beca's father were in the waiting room. We all just sat there, no one talking. Most of the Bellas were crying. I looked over at Aubrey she had her head down and was playing with her hands in her lap. I was about to say something when Stacie interrupted me.

"Chloe, since you were the closest to Beca, did she ever saying anything about doing this or ever give hints about it."

Danget, I knew this question was going to be asked but I was hoping they would asked Beca's father not me.

I was torn, I could tell them about Beca and what she had being doing but than that would be going behind her back and if she found out I told them she wouldn't trust me. Or I could say that I had no idea and that this was a complete shock to me, but I am a terrible liar. I didn't know what to do.

Then Aubrey asked "It wasn't because of what I had said to her. Right? She didn't do this because of me."

I decided to tell them. I mean they had a right to know. But I won't tell them the whole thing just a little bit. "Okay, well first of all yes, I did know that she was thinking of doing something like this." I heard a couple of gasps but kept going. "And second of all, Aubrey it kinda was because of you, but not in the way you think."

"Wh-What... do you mean, she did this because of me."

"Wait why didn't you tell anyone."

"How come she never told the rest of us?"

"How is this Aubrey's fault?"

"Was she cutting her self before this?"

All of these questions were being thrown at me and I didn't know how to respond. I looked over at Aubrey and she looked like she was trying to compose her self and was breathing heavy.

Oh My Gosh! She is gonna cry. I have never seen her cry. I mean she has gotten teary eyed before, but i have never seen her cry.

"Okay, guys, that's all I am gonna say. I think Beca would like it if I didn't tell you much more." Then I looked at Aubrey "Hey can I talk to you?" Aubrey looked up at me and just shook her head.

Aubrey and I walked over to the bathrooms, thank goodness no one was in there. As we got into there I was about to say something but she cut me off. "What do you mean 'it kinda was because of you, but not in the way you think?"

"Look Aubrey, she..."

"Was it because of what I had said at the semi-finals? I knew that it was a bit harsh but I didn't think that it would effect her this much. I... I... I just..." And that was all Aubrey got out before she broke down into tears. i didn't know what to do. She has never cried in front of me before.

"Listen Aubrey, she was feeling really insecure right now and when you said that to her, that probably pushed her over the edge. See your opinion matter so much to her because she had a crush on yo.."

I couldn't finish before Stacie burst in "Chloe, Aubrey. They saved her. Beca's alive."

Those last two words just rang in my head. Beca's Alive.