Our Total Submission (Vampire, manxman)**Vamps Book 2**

Chapter 19 **Part 1** (The Beast Within)

Never once did I give a thought the fate other coven's that were still within their grasp, even my own mate's parents were victims of their tyranny while I sat back and did nothing. Well the time has come for me to do something, and I was going to unleash a part of myself that I never ever wanted to see the light of day or the darkness of night. This horrible beast that dwelled just below the surface of my skin. My fear was that once I give him freedom, and I remove his restraints that have kept him under control most of my life, will I be able to subdue the monster again? It nearly killed me when he broke free right after the death of my family. The darkness had consumed me to the point that I cursed the very land that I grew up on with death. Anyone venturing there would die an agonizingly slow and painful death human and paranormal alike, no questions asked.

After that heinous act, I had to get away. I had fled to the most remote area that I could find and I did something similar to what Nikolai had done. I had to bring myself to the brink of death and starvation to regain my control over the beast, and when I had accomplished that, when I had him back in his cage. That was when I rose, I dug myself out of the earth and as weak as a newborn babe, I had to feed off small game until I was strong enough to hunt. I slowly came to terms with myself and shook off the stain on my soul from using black magic. I had returned to Dimitri and his family and as always had taken me in with open arms.

It was with great resignation that I opened my mating bond to my beautiful mates, and I immediately felt their worry as well as their anger towards me for cutting myself off from our link in the first place. But I needed to clear my head, I needed to purge the murderous, and hateful thoughts of wishing death and dismemberment on those who have wronged me and mine that spread over my mind like an oily slick of black sludge. Never will I willing share this kind of ugliness with my angels. Nothing this dark and this putrid should ever come anywhere near them. So it's with a heavy heart that I am going to have to tell them what I am going to do, now as the time, and I wanted them to understand the reasons that I may not return to them right away after taking down the council. Maybe never if I lose my fight with my inner beast and he succeeds to keep me in the darkness forever.

I wanted Dimitri and Gustav to know that they needed to hunt me down if that should occur and that will need to kill me for I will be purely evil. Nikolai knew enough of our faimly's history with the practice of dark magic to know how to achieve my death, and how to sever the bond so my mates won't follow and die right along with me as true mates usually do. This was the main reason that I needed to do this alone, it was the only way to finally rid the world of the ancient's reign of terror.

Reaching out to my mates and my family and friends, I asked them to meet me in the living room and I slowly made my way there. The minute I stepped through the entrance of the sitting room, Ayden and Ahron flew into my arms and I could tell that they have been busy the last few minutes since opening the our bond that they have been reading every thought and memory in my head that they could find, so at least they were semi prepared for what was coming. I can also tell from the stubborn tilt of their identical chins that they were gearing up to argue with me, but I just held up my hand and stopped them before they could even start voicing their concerns over what I was gearing myself up to tell them.

By the time I said what I had to say and explained the entire situation to all of them, I found myself pined to the wall with a snarling vampire snapping his fury in my face. My mates where each handing off a bulging arm as they tried and failed to pull Nikolai off of me. I was about to give my cousin a nudge when he yelped and jumped away from me as he rubbed the back of neck. I looked around him to see a pouting Ayden, his giving off a curl of smoke. I had to press my lips together from the put out expression on NIkolai's face, Ayden's little zaps really did sting, I will be the first to admit it having received one or two of them myself.