Ya know how I was like "yeah I'm gender fluid cause sometimes I like to be be feminine"
Well I have stumbled across some questions that teared me up before and are now again:
1. If I was born male would I still be nonbinary? (No)
2. Do I wanna be feminine in a female or male way? (Definitely male)
Not to mention that I just feel so terrible being called a woman and really great being called a dude ;-;.
(To that one lady in the restaurant that accidentally called me a dude about two years ago, you are an angel and I appreciate you)
Also I literally choose the name my mum would have gave me if I was born a dude as my new name.
On the other hand I also wanna confuse people and make them question what I am and be an genderless being but If their first guess would be woman I would probably cry.
And I dunno if I told ya but I have to take hormones To regulate my period (cause it's quite literally killing me) and even though because of it my little pathetic mustache that I always hated has disappeared a lot, now I kinda actually miss him.
I also always appreciated that I had too much testosterone in my body for a woman (even though it caused the pathetic mustache) wich is an even bigger reason having to take hormones is kinda hurting me cause it makes me even more feminine.
I don't know what I want to be,
but it's definitely not a woman.
Help, I'm so lost
