Yungblud mini stories

Anxiety.

*This is another story when I use a real name and not Y/N by the way.*

Requested by Ellablud_styles.

"For gods sake." I slam my school books on my desk.

I have been given so many assignments to do, most of them are practise for my big exams coming up. They are supposed to make you feel more relaxed for when you go into the exam later on, but all this school work is making me feel more nervous than ever about all this exam bollox.

Ive suffered from anxiety since about year 7, now Im in year 11 its just progressively gotten worse due to school and the stress being put on you whilst growing up.

The whole 'growing up is gonna be amazing' quote said by every child is bullshit. Growing up is stressful and intimidating to me in my opinion. Its as if Im the only person going through this, I know that everyone goes through it but for me it feels as if Im the only one.

Usually people with anxiety calm themselves down by counting to ten or going out for a walk, but mine is different. My go to thing to do is have a fag. Its so calming to me. Yes, I am aware it murders your insides but it helps me too much so I cant stop.

I sit down on my bed and look straight at my books lying on my desk. I sigh and place my head in my hands.

"Im never gonna do good." I sigh.

I turn my head to my bedside drawer trying to resist the urge of grabbing a fag. I cave in. I head straight for my top drawer and pull out a pre rolled cigarrette and my lighter.

I place it between my lips whilst sparking a light on my lighter and holding the flame over the end of the it. I take a quick puff of the fag, slowly breathing out all of the smoke. It felt too good. I instantly regret getting out the cigarrette but I dont stop.

Thankfully, my parents arent home because theyre busy at work. My brother Dom on the other hand is out rehearsing with his mates. Im always alone, which is never a good thing because there is more of a reason for me to always pull out a fag when no ones around to stop ya.

///

Im finishing my cigarette of trying to savour it as much as I can. I get of my bed and open my bedroom window and stick my head out of it slightly watching the smoke enter the night sky.

That is until I hear someome come up stairs.

"Shit." I whisper flicking the cigarrette out of the window and flapping my hand around trying to get rid of the smoke.

I look towards my door and notice my brother Dom come towards me.

"Alright el." He asks.

Everyone always calls me el, even though I hate it. My real name is Ella but my family never call me that unless Ive done something bad, which to be fair is most of the time.

"Mhm. Yeah Im fine." I lie.

Dom stops looking at me for a second and acknowledges my room. "Whats that smell?" He asks concerned.

"Nothing." I reasure, trying not to sound suspicious.

"Nothing my arse Ella." He snaps coming closer to me and looks at me dead in the eye. "Have you been smoking?" He asks.

"No." I argue.

"Dont fockin lie to be Ella, your rooms stinks of fags!"

"I HAVNT ALRIGHT!" I shout.

"Yeah? Then what are they in your draw?" He asks.

"Fuck." I whisper putting my head down realising how much Ive fucked up.

"Why the fock have you been smoking?" He pushes past me and grabs the cigarrettes out of the drawer and hold them infront of my face. "You think its cool or something?" He chucks them on the ground.

"No I just, I just..." I start to get upset not wanting to explain the reason why.

"You just what huh? What would you do if mum and dad found out about this? You really think they want to see you wasting your life by smoking ay?"

I break down in tears. "Im sorry." I whimper continuing to look down at the floor.

He sighs "Come ere for focks sake el." Dom pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. "I cant help it." I cry out.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"It calms down my anxiety." I admit.

"Anxiety? I didnt know you had anxiety mate." He lets go and looks at me in the eyes.

"Yeah." I wipe away a tear. "Since year 7." I admit.

"Why didnt you tell me? I could have helped ya?" Dom reasures.

"What would you know about helping people with anxiety?" I ask sitting on my bed.

Dom sits beside me. "I might know more than you think mate." He sighs. "Ive had things wrong with me for ages, including anxiety El. Trust me I think I would have been able to help you."

"But Dom... lifes so pissing stressful. Everyone expects growing up to be a miracle but it aint. I have exams soon and I havnt revised one bit because I havnt tried to learn anything this whole year." I admit.

"Ay mate dont worry." He puts his arms around me. "Growing up doing exams all that shit is stressful to everyone, some are just better at hiding it thats all. But theres no need for you to destroy yourself just because you feel anxious sometimes, yeah?" I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Mhm." I nod.

"Come on how about I help you out with your revision?" He offers.

"Ok." I smile.