Letting Go

Letting Go - Chapter 1

This is my first story, hopefully someone out there will like it (:

 

I looked out the window as the plane started to take off. I usually hated the feeling I got in my stomach as the plane started to float through the air but today I didn't care, I barely felt it, my mind was on other things. In no time we were high up in the sky and I could barely make out the city below. I leaned back in my seat as I closed my eyes. Was I sure this was what I wanted? No, the answer was plain and simple. I was actually kind of dreading this but there was no way that I was staying in Arizona. Mom said that I could come back whenever I wanted so it was still not too late but it didn't really matter. I wasn't coming back, not for a while at least.

"Are you positive Ellie? You're completely sure that you want to move to with your father? I mean this never even occurred to you and if it did the thought would have been unimaginable” Mom said, her young face wearing an expression of concern and curiosity. I looked a lot like Mom, we both had the same nose and mouth and our personalities were a lot alike. We could easily get along as friends. She was a lot stronger than me though, and if she was in my position she would not be running away.

“I’m sure” I replied, forcing a smile. My parents had divorced when I was 12 and Dad had moved away to Charlottesville, Virginia. He had wanted me to move with him but I had said no, not because I loved Mom more, but because Arizona had been what I’d known and I was at that age when a girl needs her mom more.

“If it’s what you really want then I can’t stop you…If it has to do with that boy though-“

“Mom! Please, it has nothing to do with that boy” I interrupted, my voice high. I saw the shocked look on her face, took a deep breathe and continued “I just…well right now a little bit of Charlottesville is all I need” I finished with a smile.

She looked at me, her expression careful, “Well I just wanted to say that if it has to do with that boy then I’m sure you can fix whatever happened. There is no reason for you to leave.”

I sighed “If it had to do with him I wouldn’t be leaving. I’m doing this for me.” I lied, “I mean UVA is so close to Dad’s and it’s a great University. It would be great to go there”

“We have ASU here, there’s no need for you to move that far away” she replied.

“Mom I already made up my mind”

“I know, I just thought I might as well give it a shot” She smiled, her eyes sad.

Not long after that she drove me to the airport where I tried to be strong during a very painful goodbye, my mind going back to the phone call I had gotten earlier.

I blinked back tears. Oh, how I was going to miss Mom. She meant the world to me. How could I leave her because of him? I took a deep breath and sighed. She was going to be fine without me, I was sure of it but I was still going to miss her as much as she was going to miss me. I was going to miss my room. I was going to my friends. I was going to miss school, as crazy as that may seem. I was going to miss walking through Downtown Scottsdale, the sun’s rays hitting my exposed skin. I loved wearing shorts, a tank top and some sandals as I strolled through the streets window shopping and looking at the many art exhibits. I was going to miss going to Fashion Square with Jessica and Maria, acting like lunatics. I was going to miss swimming on the extremely hot days and soaking up the cold water until my skin was too wrinkly for comfort. I was going to miss Arizona and my life in it…but most of all I was going to miss him, and with that slip I went through everything again in my mind and when I was done I couldn’t hold the tears anymore and I cried.

I hadn’t wanted to let the pain out at home because I knew Mom wouldn’t let me move to Charlottesville if she knew the reason I wanted to move so badly was him and I needed to get out of Arizona as soon as possible. Now, on the airplane I let it all out, it hit me all at once and I couldn’t keep the pain inside anymore. For a while I forgot I was on the plane but then the person next to me moved uncomfortably and I quickly brushed the tears away and looked out the window next to me. As I moved further away from home I could feel relieve but also a new type of hurt. It took forever for the plane to land.