Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 29

Loki lifts his chin, a perfect display of unbothered confidence. "I assume you're not here because you enjoy our witty banter. What is it you came for?"

"I'm here because I heard rumors of a party coming up," Fury says.

"Rumors, you say?" Loki repeats. "Don't tell me you didn't get an invitation. That must hurt."

"From what I've heard, neither did you," Fury says, amused.

"Then you've doubtlessly already heard that I have no interest in it," Loki says.

"Are you sure?" Fury asks, raising an eyebrow. "You're going to be here anyway. Are you sure you don't want to join the fun?"

"Don't encourage him!" Tony hisses.

"I'm not encouraging; I'm asking," Fury corrects him.

"You're encouraging," Loki says. That was nothing short of encouragement. "Why?"

"I'm not," Fury insists. "I'm just wondering why you would rather sit in an empty room all night when there is a perfectly good party a few floors down."

Loki chuckles. "While I do love a good party, I don't expect much of a Midgardian one."

Tony scoffs. "Excuse you, I throw awesome parties. It's all people are going to talk about for a week. I still hear people talking about my parties from a decade ago."

"Yeah, now who's encouraging him?" Fury remarks.

"I'm just saying," Tony says defensively. "I throw the best parties."

"You and all your fancy Midgardian technology could never hold a candle to the parties we had in Asgard," Loki says.

"And you don't even want to make a mess of it?" Fury asks. "You know, get a little payback?"

"Fury..." Natasha shoots him a look.

"It's a fair question, isn't it?" Fury asks. "I mean, if I had the power he had —"

"You would not waste your time on such frivolous pursuits," Loki finishes. "I truly cannot overstate how little you all mean to me. I certainly do not care enough to disrupt an already subpar party."

"It's not going to be a subpar party," Tony mutters under his breath.

"Is that really why you're here?" Loki asks, amused. "You think I want to ruin this party? That is absurd."

"You destroyed half of Manhattan from this tower not too long ago," Fury reminds him. "It can't hurt to be too careful. I could barely convince the council not to turn this whole tower into a prison. Your body count gets any higher, I don't know if I'll have enough pull to do it again."

"Wait, hang on," Tony says quickly. "They wanted to what?"

"Don't worry, Director," Loki says, ignoring him. "If my body count gets any higher, I suspect I'll be out of your jurisdiction before your people know what happened."

"In that case," Fury says, "I almost want to tell you to kill again."

"I've thought about it," Loki says. "But if I only have one murder left, I would like to make the most of it. I don't see myself wasting it any time soon."

Steve fights the urge to roll his eyes. Who does he think he's fooling? He's not worried about wasting his last murder. He just doesn't want to go back to Asgard. The odds of him actually deciding to kill anyone with the threat of Asgardian intervention looming over his head are slim to none.