orbit, jj maybank

000. ENTRY LOG 66

PROLOGUE
📖🖊 ──── ❛ ENTRY LOG SIXTY-SIX. ❜

⛧ ACT ONE, MENDING BROKEN HEARTS.

• • •

[ JOURNAL ENTRY #66 ]

"HEY! this feels weird– i haven't written in this in so long. my whole attention is on my music book right now, so i'm sorry i promise i'm not abandoning you <//3 it's just that, i don't know what to share. i just feel disconnected with everything. nothing feels the same anymore."

"kie has been drinking and getting high a lot more than usual. (which is kind of shocking but at the same time not?) pope is distracting himself with his studies (that's not shocking) and jj, i can't even remember the last time he smiled (i miss his cute little dimples)"

"me, on the other hand, i'm doing good. not the best, but good."

"OH! STORY TIME!"

"yesterday all i wanted was a big juicy burger and some crispy fries so i went to get some. and when i got there i saw kie working so we chatted for a little while, and i think it was just fate cause pope suddenly appeared, he was sending the restaurant some supplies. AND THEN as if the stars were aligned jj was about to order something when he saw us at our table."

"we made eye contact, and i smiled at him, he gave me a small smile back, and for the second, everything just felt... i don't know... alright?"

"this is gonna sound cliché but it was like everything stopped, and all my focus was on him."

"ANYWAYS."

"of course i'm not the only one who miss him cause pope ran up to him and hugged him so tight. they had small grins on their faces, it was adorable. when i looked at kie she was already standing up and moving to hug him, and then it was my turn, so i got up, but... i just kind of LOOKED at him. IT WAS SO AWKWARD I WANTED TO CRAWL IN A HOLE AND DIE."

"i think pope and kie wanted us to have some privacy so kie dragged pope with her to get some food. and LMAO– you should've seen pope's face when kie held his hand. he looked at her like she hung all his stars. i want someone to look at me like that someday."

"okay whatever, back to the story."

"the silence was getting more and more awkward, i was fidgeting a lot so i said hi, he said hi back and then more silence. god─ there were so many things that i could've said. but i think he understood just by looking at me. it's just how me and jj are. he could read me like an open book and i could sense if something is wrong with him. but lately jj is so closed off that even when i sense something is not right, i wasn't sure if he wanted to be comforted."

"but i completely understand him. we all need our space, but damn, sometimes i just miss the simpler days."

"i don't know where the confidence came from but the next thing i knew, my hands were around his neck and his arms were engulfing me and my heart was POUNDING, i was scared he could feel it.i don't even know WHY it's pounding??? like it's literally just jj. i don't know why i was nervous."

"he smelt like weed, and weirdly enough it was comforting, cause it was familiar. it was jj."

"when i backed away, we kind of just stared at each other AGAIN and I SWEAR I SAW HIM LOOKING AT MY LIPS but it was so quick it's probably my mind playing tricks on me."

"kie and pope came back with the food, and we all ate, laughed, danced, it felt like old times. although i still can't shake the hole in my chest."

"when i got back home, mom was on the couch watching White Chicks, so obviously i joined her. she knows i'm having a hard time but she doesn't push me to talk about it if i don't feel comfortable and i really appreciate that."

"but yeah, that's all the updates i have right now. kie is planning on spray painting w*rd's walls, SO THAT'S FUN! (i'm kinda proud of her ngl) also i got a job at this cafe at figure 8 so we'll see how that goes. (praying that i won't have to break someones nose) if something crazy happens (which i don't think will) i'll write something down. till next time <3"

"THIS IS THE BRILLIANT, AMAZING, OUTSTANDING, THEO JAMIE SIGNING OFF xx"

for future me : please don't do
stupid shit. i beg of you.

★☆

                    Theo sighed and closed her journal. The Saturn keychain at the end of her purple coloured pen clinked as she puts it down. It was a gift from Kie from a while back, and she's amazed at how well the pen held on. She cracks her knuckles and stares out of her bedroom window. The warm colors of the sky kissed her room, leaving a warmth behind as the sun starts to set. A little smile tugs up on her face as she gazed at the way the colors blend together with no effort as it gets darker and darker.

As she studied the horizon, her mind brought her back to the time when the pogues would spend all day hanging out at the beach. Playing, surfing and living like there was no tomorrow. When they would journey all across The Cut. Pulling pranks on each other, scaring of disrespectful tourons, getting into unnecessary trouble and making sure they don't get caught doing stupid-illegal- shit.

Then her thoughts went to John B and Sarah.

I guess tomorrow is not promised.

She wants to believe that her friends are just missing, that they would suddenly show up and come back to her, to them, to their home. But Theo knows better than to get her hopes up.

However, a part of her just knows that they're out there somewhere.

Her mind unconsciously drifts to a certain blue eyed, blond boy. Not knowing that he was sitting by the dock, with a beer in his hand, doing the same thing, with her in his mind.

As they both stared at the sky with heavy hearts, they just hoped that tomorrow will be better than today. And if stars align, that they would cross paths again.

( Spoiler alert : They do. )

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「 ⋆⛧* hana's note 」

if i spend one more minute editing this chapter i would probably lose my mind,, i have been so anxious about posting this that i just thought fuck it i'm gonna do it-

also i didn't put this on the disclaimer, but there will be some chapters with this journal layout. cause theo really loves to write, she doesn't talk about her feelings a lot, so she just dumps all of it in her books :))

but the next chapter is when the fun really begins so stay tuned for that!!

hope yall like this <3