Mental Center // l.h.

1 dull

Allison:

Dull.

That was the best word that could somehow describe the hell I was forced into.

The same boring plain white halls. The same crazy glances from the visitors that actually thought their loved ones would make it out of here with their sanity brought back. The same scared looks those people, locked in cages that were worse than mine, would give me.

And then the same awkward 3 minute conversations on the phone with my mother that usually ended in her choking up with tears and a string of pointless apologies that I've heard a thousand times over and over again.

My room doesn't help much either.

The walls are a bare tan. The window is so high that all I can see is the sky. A dull grey, like the rest of my new life.

My bed has white sheets with a thin tan cover that's so scratchy I've kept it as a rug for on the cold white tile floor.

In the corner of here is a small light tan oak dresser, that sadly matched the room to a t.

So here's how you can see that dull is the definition of my hell.
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They've been saying that after one more week of these interviews, that I'll be able to have a few items of my choice brought in. That I may even be able to have my own clothes and a poster or two. That all I have to do is to be cooperative and go to the daily mental sessions.

You'd think I'd be pretty ecstatic.

I mean I'd finally be able to eat lunch with actual people and finally get a break from the thoughts that I oh so wish could happen.

I'd be able to wear my own over-sized t-shirts and my old flannel my mom always hated. My favorite light-washed ripped jeans that I've worn in for two years, instead of scrummy scrubs that have been through the washer so many times that the old dormant green was turned into a sickly color.

I could actually have something else on the wall then the monsters in cages, taunting me, that I imagine there instead. But, I doubt a few blink-182 or every avenue posters would actually take those cages away.

And music. Maybe they'd let me have a couple CDs. Maybe even a small harmless dvd player.

You'd think I'd actually be excited for these things, even if they didn't actually end me.

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Ok so sorry it's like super short, but I wanted the group session chapter to be by itself. And sorry, that little tea glipt won't happen till chapter 4 but still hoped you liked it.

And yeah I CHANGED the end. I think I'm gonna add that to the next chapter maybe instead. idk

And I'm going to maybe go edit this chapter again later, but that's it. k bye.