A K-pop Story

Chapter 31

"Here you go noona" I gave her the water

"Gomawo" she smiled

"Did you change your wallpaper?" she asked as she looked at my pc monitor

"Ne. It's from our last JYPnation concert"

"I know. I remember my outfit" she took out her phone and took a picture of my screen

"Don't mind me. I'm just going to show this to the others" she smiled

"Noona it's embarrassing" I whined

"Then wae are you using it?" she raised an eyebrow

"Because I like JYPnation"

"Then don't be embarrassed for your wallpaper. It's your choice so stand up for that"

"...wae do I need to stand up tho?" I scratched my head

Tzuyu bursted out laughing.

"Sometimes you are indeed a pabo" she shook her head

"Did you choose your lightstick?" she asked

"Ne. Yesterday. It's beautiful." I tried to suppress a yawn

"Are you tired? I can go-"

"Ani ani" I cut her off

"Today I'm spending the day with you." I said

Tzuyu studied me for a while and sighed.

"Your nightmares aren't gone?"

"Eh? How?... I mean ani. They are" I avoided eye contact

"...look in my eyes when you are telling this"

I turned to look in her eyes but I couldn't repeat it. She sighed and shook her head.

"How bad are they?"

"Not too bad" I sighed

"I don't have them every night now so it's better."

"Y/n, maybe it'll be good for you to share what are these nightmares. What you are seeing." she said as she sat beside me on the bed

"I don't want to bother anyone" I said

"Yah! Wae do you like to make me angry?" she sighed

"You are not bothering anyone. We are here for you to talk. I'm right here" she gave me a smile

"But you came to hang out."

"Who said that we can't talk about our problems when we hang out?" she reasoned

"...I don't know if I'm ready to tell"

"Are you afraid?" I nodded

"Of what?" she asked

"Of my nightmares becoming true"

"What are you seeing?"

"...everything that happened with Aiko. I'm reliving everything but with another person each time" I shared with her

"That happens randomly?"

"Not anymore. Since everything returned to normal, I see them whenever I'll meet someone. That person takes Aiko's place"

"So last night it was me?" I nodded

"Oh Y/n. You are one of my favourites people. That will never happen." she gave me a quick hug

"You know what's funny?" I looked at her as she pulled away

"What?"

"That I actually know that. I know who cares about me. I know that I'm not a burden but I just can't stop thinking that. Aiko's words are stuck in my head. They are replaying. Every time that I'm going to hang out with someone, I think 'what if I'm bothering?'. Every time that I practice or perform, I'm thinking 'I'm not good enough. I need to practice more. I don't deserve to be an idol'. But I actually know that this isn't true" I admitted