Hange Zoë x Mummy Pig

imma hoe

Mummy pigs POV:

I was bored with nothing to do but look after 2 dumbass children and their dad. Its been such a long time since I have some time for myself. I decided what I should do. I called mummy sheep and told her to bring her dumb ass child with her, she agreed. Once they got here, I went up to my room and put on the tightest, prettiest, red dress I had.

"where are you going dressed like that?" said daddy pig.

"shut the fuck up u hoe" I said back.

I quickly went down the stars and haked mummy shep. I got in my Dora The Explorer car and went to the closest bar from my house. I walked pin there and right away, all eyes were on me. I didn't care, honestly I was used to this. I've always been really hot. Nobody here really caught my attention, they were all ugly. I got my drink and sat there thinking. 

I don't really want to go back home, but ive got nothing else to do.

I was about to go home when suddenly somebody walked in. They were the hottest person ive ever seen in my life. They had an eyepatch, Their hair was half up and half down. I stood there, I couldn't stop staring at them.

"hello? Do you need something? Ma'am? Hello!?"

"O-o-o-o-o-o-oh m-m-my b-b-bad. I must have been staring, im sorry."

"no Its fine, but I just want to say, you look beautiful."

"t-t-t-t--t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-thanks..'

"wanna get out of here?"

"s-s-s-s-sure."

-time skip ig-

" you ready for this 3 centimeter defeater?"

"y-y-y-y-yes." 

"hoe u thought."

"w-w-what??" 

"u got my little pony underwear."

Hange did the peace sign and disappeared.

"BRO NO I WAS FINNA GET MY CHEEKS CLAPPEDDDDD"

Mummy pig dies end of story bye