The Hogwarts Lonely Hearts Club

A Stamp of Approval

To say that Sirius Black was angry after reading Harry's letter would have been the understatement of the year.

It had taken Hedwig several days to reach him, for Sirius had taken himself off to the sunny climes of Southern Spain, to get some colour into a complexion turned unhealthily pallid from his years of incarceration. So when, after a long transcontinental flight, Harry's owl finally found Sirius - who was off womanising at some beach bar or other - she was tired and very, very cross.

But her anger was nothing compared to Sirius' as soon as he finished Harry's letter.

He stormed back and checked out of his hotel, and within the hour he'd booked himself on an Apparition Route across Europe. It wasn't a simple thing to cross the continent in any form, and Apparition was no different. The straightest route was the most popular, so required pre-booking, and as such Sirius had to bounce between countries to get home as fast as he could.

So from Seville he hopped to Madrid, then on to Zaragoza, then to Marseille, via the border checks in Andorra. Vaduz came next, where his ex-convict status caused him to be detained by security wizards for a full hour, so it was a het-up Sirius Black who arrived in Luxembourg before bouncing straight to Brussels, then over the English Channel to finally reach London.

He was so annoyed by this point that when he Apparated the last leg to Hogwarts he forgot about the magical protections around the school, bouncing painfully off the barrier as he collided face-first with the enchanted gates in his hurry to get inside. The resounding gong of the impact was matched in intensity only by the volley of filthy swear words that Sirius threw at the gates, as they rattled tauntingly before him.

If only he'd been able to ask Hermione Granger about it. Should could have reminded him that there was no Apparating within the walls of Hogwarts. It said so in Hogwarts, A History, a book she'd read more than any other.

But Hermione and Sirius had never met, so neither recognised the other on that Monday afternoon, as they passed on the staircase leading to Professor Dumbledore's office. In fact, Sirius was moving so feverishly fast that Hermione didn't even have the chance to match up his face with his mugshots, which had been plastered all over the Daily Prophet after his escape from Azkaban last year.

And Sirius had no time for idling young witches, either. He didn't even stop to apologise as he brusquely swept past Hermione, racing by like a fierce mid-November Scottish gale and causing her to have to flatten herself against the wall, in order to escape being bulldozed by this relentless force of human nature.

And as such Hermione was huffily curious about who this rude stranger was and why he had nearly turned her into Dorothy, and sent her spiralling into her own personal Land of Oz as he flew past her.

Hermione had just been visiting with Professor Dumbledore, presenting him with the plans drawn up by the Student Committee, of which she was a vocal member, for how they were going to assist with decorating the Great Hall for the Yule Ball. Dumbledore had approved the plans and Hermione was on her way back to lunch, but now she loitered on the stairs and decided to eavesdrop on the heated conference taking place in the Headmaster's office. She'd have to make up an excuse about forgetting to ask something if caught, but she simply couldn't leave now, not with the raised voices reaching her ears.

For whoever this man was, he was not happy with Dumbledore. Hermione crept up the stairs, quiet as a mouse, and turned her ear to listen closely.

And what she heard set her on high alert at a stroke.

"What the hell is this, Dumbledore! What the hell is happening to my Harry?"