CLOSED DOORS | L.S

CHAPTER 4

HARRY'S POV :

It was time for the real thing now, as much as I'd like to stay in this bubble of happiness with Gemma and Grandma - I know I have to eventually talk with my parents.

All 3 of us exchange a knowing look as the conversation comes to a silent end. We're all sitting in awkward silence, knowing this is the calm before the storm. Calm before I have to talk to my parents.

I slowly get up, it's better getting over with it sooner than later- there's no point in delaying what's coming anyway.

You'll just be stupid if you choose to ignore it and be oblivious to it. You get hurt either way.

Gemma and Gran stand up too, we all head towards the dining hall.

The dining hall- I have mixed feelings about this place. It might be the most beautifully designed thing I've ever seen- from the detailed stonework on the walls to the exquisite and antique gold and oak wood dining table in the middle.

The perfectly matching carpet and curtains. 120 chairs all perfectly similar yet standing out. grand chandeliers so bright and delicate - just waiting to fall and shatter. The giant glass windows fill the hall with sunlight and warmth, though it is never enough.

Never enough against my father's cold look, and harsh words. Never enough to fill the void in my heart- that I would never admit to anyone. Never enough to make me feel at home. Never enough to keep the painful memories of fights that have taken place here.

Never enough to help me erase the look in my parents' eyes when they look at me.

Maybe it is me who'll never be enough.

"Harry" Gemma's voice pulls me out of my head.

"Are you okay? Ready to go ?"

"Yeah, yeah I am," I say more to reassure myself. And take in a shaky breath to calm me down and start walking again, soon entering the dining hall.

My eyes scan the rich red interior and soon fall upon my mother who is sipping on her tea and sitting opposite to her, my father - sipping on his tea while reading the newspaper in the other.

I clear my throat to grab their attention but fail to.

"A..ahem, good morning mother, father" I nod towards both of them as a greeting and bow my head as a curtsy.

"Harry !" my mother says in a shocked voice

"How are you here? What happened? Where were you for a month ?" Great ! she doesn't even know what torture I was put through this past month - just like I expected.

Before I can reply, my father decides to lookup

"Harold ! what the fuck do you think you are doing here ?" he screams and throws one of the expensive china vases containing red roses in my direction. I scream and quickly duck down to protect myself.

"Father, wait hear me out please !" I pleaded to him, my voice cracking, barely stable- but somehow managing to not sound so weak.

"Please, I beg of you, give me a chance - I have changed, I swear. Don't send me back there- I'll do anything you want '' I continue, when I see him looking at me intently, trying to figure out if I'm saying the truth.

"I was confused, drunk and not in my right mind when they found me that night. I've found my true self now. " I spit more lies trying to sound the least bit confident and convincing. Though it pains me to say these words, I have to, to survive.

"Ok Harold, you may join me in my office after breakfast, I'll be ready to discuss this,"  he states, with a little anger still in his voice. "You better be telling the truth, fag" he spits his words towards me.