The Night We Met

s i c k

LUKE

I grip the bathtub hard and empty my stomach into the toilet. Everything inside me felt twisted, broken. I had threw up four times before, which is the reason of my insides being completely crushed.

I stand up shakily, trying to make my way towards the sink steadily but my legs couldn't take it anymore so I limped while grabbing the sink counter.

"You shouldn't be drinking this much Luke." I hear Flynn standing by the bathroom door.

He has been my best friend since 3rd grade. We met after I accidentally broke his water bottle in school, he cried all day about it. And I felt bad the whole day. So I told him I would bring him a new one and we became best friends after that.

I don't respond to him, I didn't had the energy. He passes me a glass of water after I finish cleaning myself up. "You need to change your clothes man, they stink." He says while blocking his nose. The stench was all over the room. I nodded faintly.

He goes over to my closet and picks out some clothes. I couldn't even process what is going on. How did I get here? Why was I drinking so much?

He passes me my clothes and heads out of my room. I change into a t-shirt and trouser and don't even bother to throw my dirty clothes into the laundry bag.

I just need sleep,

I need Riley by my side,

I want her to run her fingers through my hair and tell me that I'm such a stupid person.

There's a knock on the door and I reply with a small hmm. It's Flynn again. Why doesn't he leave me alone?

"Hey.. I think we should talk about what's going on?" He says.

"How about we not talk at all." I slur a little bit.

I hear him sigh heavily, "Luke I don't know what's wrong with you man, you being drunk almost every day, you sometimes cry. I don't know what to do."

"Riley..." I say my voice breaking.

I don't hear him after this, but he's there thinking, I know he's probably thinking why the hell do I miss her? It's almost been one year since she passed.

Why do I feel so lost now?

Last year, I wasn't like this. Yes, I was sad about her death but I didn't feel what I feel now. Actually, I don't know what I feel at all. Maybe I somehow feel guilty that she's dead or I've come to accept that I loved her?

We never dated but she was important to me, only now I realise how much.

Is it weird? That I'm grieving now. After a god damn year.

I feel empty, everything is slowly swallowing me. And it's not just about Riley, it's about everything that's going on in my life.

"Listen man, I-I need to go.." he leaves with out a good bye.

He dated her. Riley. But it was just a small fling to him, he was talking to other girls when he was with her. But she loved him and he didn't value her love. When I first told him she passed away all he did was say 'yeah I know'. I was a little shocked, how was he so calm.

When they broke up, every night she would call me and cry about how he doesn't give a shit about her, How she loves him.

It would hurt me physically knowing that she could never be mine. It didn't matter if they broke up..her heart still belonged to him.

And maybe just...maybe if I could've told her how much she meaned to me. She would be alive right now. She wouldn't be driving drunk.

With those thoughts consuming my head, I fall asleep.