Dil Bole Rikara: Rikara Shots Collection

Tripping Through Dimensions: Not Quite the End

"It is." He found himself admitting as he looked at her smiling eyes. He didn't know himself what was beautiful, the rain, her dreams, her honest words, her optimism when recalling a rough past or just her. But he knew that it was beautiful. Whatever it was, however it was.

He had once indulged in self pity but seeing her journey from rags to today was inspiring. He loved her spirit, her honesty that made her show vulnerable sides in raw moments like these and her unpredictable takes on life's mundane gifts. He loved it all because he loved her. Or maybe he loved her because he loved it all. He truly couldn't tell. Because unlike Gauri, he often didn't understand his own actions and emotions, especially actions driven by emotions. It was all too complicated and logic didn't solve the storms these complicated emotions brought.

Even now, as they stood close enough to touch if he made a move, he stayed still. Why? Because he was afraid of caving into this insanity? Or because he was afraid of abandoning logic and hurting her? He truly didn't know, again. Maybe he was scared of both, her rejecting him or her accepting him only to set him aflame. So, he took his eyes off her and onto the rain before she noticed and made him ask questions that could fetch complicated answers with dire consequences.

He noticed that she had built her wall again. She always did that after a moment of warmth, vulnerability or courage. He could analyze that. Because Gauri followed logic and gave reactions that could be predicted. Unlike him, she wasn't making reckless decisions or doing things out of her character. She was safe, he was not. She was standing and he was falling.

He had to clench his fists to control the frustration that his thoughts brought. That is how she made him, vulnerable and irrational, two things he never wanted to be again. Maybe it was the overwhelming sadness of unreciprocated love, the frustration of waiting until she was at least ready for receiving love if not giving it back, or maybe it was just his irrational heart running on emotions again but he turned to her, cupping her cheek to make her look at him.

His heart raced as his lips inched closer to hers. Just an inch more and he'd know. He'd know if the taste of her lips would be the end of his craziness or the start of something that could ground him to sanity. Just an inch more.

Gauri's eyes fluttered close. In anticipation or was it fear? He would never know because right at the moment their lips were about to touch, an image floated behind his closed lids.

The image of his mother smiling at him with sadness as she said, "Please forgive me, Omkaara. And if possible, forget me too." He had watched his mother drive to the peak of her insanity, in some ways he had pushed her off it too. Then, opening his eyes, he looked at Gauri, a brave and vulnerable woman much like his mother had been. Was he going to drive her insane too? Would she rather tie a noose around her neck and jump off a stool when he wasn't looking too?

She couldn't. Rather, she shouldn't. And so even as his heart raced with excitement, he let his brain use his fears to brush a strand of her hair away from her face. Stepping back he said, "Sorry for startling you. There was a bug on your hair."

Gauri opened her eyes slowly. Then, refusing to meet his, she muttered. "I think I should go home."

He let her go. Only until she is strong enough to refuse, he told himself. He was only going to wait until she had achieved enough to walk away from him if she wanted to, alive and happy.

That was the last time his heart had beaten this fast. When he was about to kiss her. And now, as he leaned in to kiss her again, it was with her permission. He didn't know if he should thank that alien or kill him.

A few minutes earlier,

"You need to kiss her."

"WhAt?"