𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙭

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"Can't say I relate. But, this can't go on. It's only been a week but it feels like it's been a month." He paused, rinsing his mouth with water and towel-drying his face before turning to lean back against the ceramic surface. "I'll hold your hand throughout this, obviously. And I'm not expecting a clean break from a group of dudes you're clearly fond of. But I'd like it if you let me in a bit. Maybe the cinema, and try some new restaurants, and get our hair redone a completely new style or something. The baseline being; we need change."

Renjun glanced to him briefly at the thought before returning his gaze to the mirror. He really did need rejuvenating, and Yang had a good point. But the cinema was where Mark always took him, and Jaemin was the best date for a restaurant setting. Donghyuck and Chenle had chosen this hairstyle with him too and it was amazing when they walked home to show it to the others...

"Maybe..." he mumbled and proceeded to clean his teeth quietly. The taller withheld a grimace at the mediocre response but took it as a small victory nonetheless. He loved him, and if guiding him slowly through this clusterfuck was what it took to make him happy and bring him back, then he'd do it.

What YangYang had failed to notice was that the Renjun he loved was in fact the Renjun in love. A very cruel fate indeed.


College was as dry and uneventful as ever. While the brunette got better at his degree and pulled through the challenges and lab reports, the blonde-ravenette managed to plough on without a hint of enthusiasm. He was doing well in terms of success, but mentally his love of medicine was dwindling and his spark was fading.

Days ran into each other without mercy and eventually a routine had settled. The alarm rang, YangYang rose, fifteen minutes passed, Renjun rose. And so on, so forth. They'd talk for about an hour in bed before sleeping, because the conversations were important to them and kept them grounded when it felt as though they were floating aimlessly. Their fingers would lock around each other's and their gazes would search the ceiling without finding anything new.

For some reason, Renjun had realised a few weeks into their new lives that this was originally what he'd wanted from someone back before he'd met the boys. When he'd been on the train to the city for the first time and had only studies and his mother on his mind, any concept of love looked like this to him. Comfortable living without any insecurity or surprises. But after having 'suffered' through the total opposite for so long and coming out the other end with a hankering for mischief, his heart was changed, reshaped, and left wanting.

Was he really the same guy from the one who'd met Taeyong and asked if he could have a flat?

One Wednesday evening, while YangYang was sitting crossed-legged on the bed with his laptop open and a video of a dissection running, his attention shifted to Renjun when he emerged from the bathroom with damp hair and a face full of uncertainty. Like he had an idea but was aware it could've been bad.

"Hey, what's up?" The brunette enquired carefully, pausing the video before it got too far. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah..." he breathed lengthily and rested his gorgeous hands on his sharper hips. "I have a question and you're free to say no."

"Okay?"

"Do you want to have sex?"

YangYang physically froze for a short instant before forming a few failed words with his lips...and then answering, "Yes? But why?"

"Because we've been together about a month and you've never brought it up."

"I just...I sort of assumed you weren't ready? You've been mourning or something, so..."

"Yeah, and I'm trying to push them as far away from my thoughts as possible. It'll get easier, and it's time I put more focus on you, isn't it?"

Because he absolutely had to get out of this slump before it consumed him whole.

"If you want to." Yang slid the laptop closed and placed it on the bedside locker. "This is what you want?"

"Mhm," he merely nodded tersely before crawling up to kneel before him. By slowly overriding all the things they'd done to and for him with someone else, he was sure he'd forget it all quicker. His new boyfriend was a much better fit for him, and his mother seemed to hope he was right.

It was all about time. The hands in his hair, getting used to the caress of someone else, listening to his native tongue whispered in his ear as they pulled together instead of Korean. It was all change and he needed it. Although pretending he hadn't done this in a long time was difficult, it didn't seem to be obvious to YangYang, and so they learned another way.

Another door opened. Another door closed. And as the night wrapped around their sweat-sheened limbs, Renjun's gaze faltered to the window where he wondered if those he'd loved were doing the same.

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𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺; renjun x dream Where stories live. Discover now