Beautiful Nightmare

2

“ What? Are you sure?”
His mother gasped at his sudden declaration of just what he said. It was shocking. He had always been so passionate about acting. Going beyond and against his father to jump into the glamour world. She still remembered those days of continuous uglier fights between the son and father regarding the same. He had been so mesmerized and blinded with the glamour world and modelling that he had been keen to let his studies and academics slip to pursue his dreams.. And the sucker for academics his father was, he had been so against him for the path of his career that he chose.. They had been at logger's end for months due to the same reason.. And in the end, when things got out of control and rebellious, she had to intervene and solve it between her husband and her son. She had given him an option to go fir his dream but only after getting a good degree for himself. He had agreed, reluctantly, but soon after, her husband’s demise and things had fallen apart for them both..

“ are you sure Sidharth!! Retirement itni jaldi, you have been so passionate about acting all your life!”
She was reluctant with his decision. But again, it was his life and not hers. And she wound, like always, support her son for every right decision taken. Right decision and not every decision though.

“ Hmm. Soch raha hu kuch. I’m mean look at me! I’m 40 almost. Main stream serials are getting cliche and too much. Poora nah bhi quit karu. May be deviate a little towards web series. But ye serials mujhse aur nahi hoga. I’m tired. I’m planning to move towards production.. Kuch logo se baat ki hai. And have been in terms with some banks as well. Kuch funds hai. Kuch loan approval chahiye. Let’s see.”

He sighed, leaning back to her again. It was risk he was taking, but he was tired of those constant camera and limelight. He wanted to have a little peace now. Just away from the hustle bustle a bit. More to seek what he wanted from here in life. A better planning on his personal life. He was bare and barren for so long. No relationships, no commitments. He had been like a ship without a destination in his personal life. No plans on what next. No plans on anything. Just flying past from one girl to another. Without any commitment, without any promises. Just the appeasement of his physical need. The girls needed exposure and he needed their warmth.. That’s it.. That’s how he had been for a while.. Stoic.. Stonned up.. Bare of any emotions.. Bare of any feelings.. Too robotic.. Fuck and move on.. His fair share of hot bodies. That was what he had been upto all this while.. And now, he was so exhausted and worn out with the same..

The hot bodies, they didn’t enchant him anymore. The emotionally bare relationships didn’t attract his attention anymore.. He was over that sphere of his life. A few one night stands sometimes to get rid of the rigidity and that was all. But he felt he was shattering.. He was failing so miserably in his personal front.. He was slowly becoming this emotionally barren person who was slowly giving up on life. The emotional side of it. The feelings. He was becoming a man without feelings.

“ acha wo sab chor.. Jab sort out kar lega we would see.. Abhi k liye, just perk up your mood for a while.. Aise din bhar ghar mei baitha rahega toh kuch acha nahi hone wala.. Get out tonight okay. Just chill for a while.. Akshit ka phone aya tha. He said you declined to attend his birthday party? Come on Sidharth, just go for it. Thoda night clubs won’t do you harm ok. It’s ok you know. Your age, I won’t mind if you indulge into a little slip up sometimes. Ek dum sloshed and drunk nahi, may be. But a light unwinding is ok baba.. Jao aaj tum. Maine usko bola hai that you would come.. Tumhari age pe main hoti nah, mujhe dubara bolna nahi padhta. I would have jumped you knowknow. Have some fun beta. Go out tonight ok?”
She said, caressing his face so lovingly.. Her dear son, he was slacking down on life. Aging too fast. He needed a companion, she understood.. Only he was adamant to not to understand the same.. And what irked her the most, he was adamant to not to let her intervene this time.