Beautiful Nightmare

2

“ Haa utha ti hu.. Aur utha k maarungi tujhe abhi..”
She joked back, laughing, making him laugh along with her.. Their relationship, more like friends than being the mother and son..

“ jokes apart Sidharth, life is so vast baba.. We all need a companion right! Aise kaise itna pahaad jaisa zindagi beetayega bata.. Am getting old. Kal ko main bhi ludak jaungi, and please abhi apne serials ki tarha ansu mat bahana k aap nahi maroge and all cliché things.. It’s the rule of life and I raised you better.. At least settle down k baare mei socho toh sahi.. Galat kya hai!”
She said, still massaging his scalp.. He hummed to her question..

“ avoid nahi karne ka.. Aaj batana hai mujhe.. Kyu nahi settle hota hai tu?”
She continued..

“ It’s tough to trust ma.. After what Tania did.. It’s tough.. Aur koi aisa milta hi nahi jisse dekh k dil mei wo kasak jaage k isi k saath beetani hai life.. Wo spark, wo ek hota hai nah Ma, that thing in your heart that tells you k this is the one, kisi ko dekh k feel nahi hota hai.. To be honest Tania ko dekh k bhi nahi hua tha.. But we were good together.. Socha tha settle ho jau.. But you know what happened right.. Ab darr lagta hai.. Like mujhe wo secure waali feel nahi aati hai.. Kisi k liye jis din wo feel aa jayegi, I would definitely settle down.. Ek minute nahi lunga to waste you know.. But Ma, tab tak, ye shaadi and all, let’s just let it be.. Jaisa hai acha hai.. Jab jo hona hoga ho jayega.. Kismat se jyada aur waqt se pehle kisi kaha aaj tak kuch mila hai Ma.. Mere naseeb mei hoga koi toh mil jayegi..”
He shrugged, snuggling back to his mother. She gave him a different kind of peace.. A never ending peace..

Mothers they are indeed never ending.. They have a black hole of love to shower on their kids.. Lucky are those who had another encircle their own life around their kids, entwining their own happiness along with them.. This bond, it’s so beautiful and beyond.. Unfathomable at times to decode what propelled them to entangle their own life so relentlessly and selflessly around their kids.. Yet, they are eternal, a mother that is.. Not in the human and it’s life essence, but through the essence of their love for their kids..

“ Sid, beta main theek hu.. I’m at the junction of life jaha I find more peace when I’m alone, reminiscing my time with your father.. But I think you should go and enjoy na baba.. Settle down nahi hona hai ok, I get it.. But life toh enjoy kar hi sakta hai nah. All you do is work and stay at home these days.. Why? Jao, apni zindagi jio, pehle ki tarha.. Isme. Kya problem hai beta?”
She asked, worried, anxious for her son to be loosing himself without the chance to get an experience of the good side.. He was aging too fast.. Way before his time, she felt..

“ Ma.” he sighed. “ I've lived my life already.. Jee chuka hu nah apni zindagi. Sab kuch dekh chuka hu.. Har rang zindagi k. Pyar, no pyar, playboy, booze, party, dr… . ..” he fumbled.. He had secrets.. Secrets that they have buried deep successfully. But yet, some of them still haunts him at nights. Not everyday, but yet.....

" Sidharth.. Bhul jao.. Let that part go. You are above those now right. " His mother said, compassionately.

His mother and him, they had a very transparent relationship.. Clear and so non judgmental.. She had a knowledge of his every aspect of life. Like a friend.. More like a chum than a mother.. Supporting him where needed and reprimanding where required.. He had been through his share of thick and thin along with his mother. She, being the strong support system of his world.. His everything till now. And had been pulling him through and through out of his every fall .. Yet, there are some wounds even she was unaware. Some deep unfathomable wounds. Some of his greatest secrets, she was clueless!

“ you know I’ve been through everything.. Now, I just want a little peace in my life.. Ye glam and glitter se thak chuka hu.. Ab thoda sukun chahiye. I think, I think I’m getting old. Soch raha hu retirement le lu acting se. Planning on something else you know. Behind the camera or something like that.”
He said, contemplating his recent thoughts to retire from being the focal point of camera. He had been over with acting and being on the forefront. He wanted to stall and take a break and relax a little.